your mom is so ugly when she entered an ugly contest they said... ok

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How did the little boy with cancer run in his running race??? Very Well....

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What is 1 inch long and eats everyone in it's way .... my pet fish

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What did the doctor say to his wife? We have grown apart over the years, I want a divorce.

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How do you describe a cranky rapist? Cranky and rapist

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What's similar between the Alabama Crimson Tide and a maggot? They've both been feeding off of a dead Bear for 30 years...

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What did the cat say to the dog? Nothing. Cats can't talk.

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Q: How do you make a five year cry twice? A: There are many ways, as children are generally not that adept at controlling their emotions. Loud noises, threats of violence, images of scary monsters... those tend to work. Be sure to let them stop crying before making them cry again, otherwise you will have only made them cry once.

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Q:Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Conrad Barry

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A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot you racist.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Bob Bob who? Your neighbor

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What did the meteorologist say when there was tornado? There is a tornado 7 miles West of the station.

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What is worse than the holocaust Nothing it was fine with the Jews in camps burning and dying

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Whats worse than falling off a bike? rape.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter what you call it, they aren't going to come.

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What's red white, blue and hilarious? Glasgow Rangers in administration!

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Why was the boy at the funeral? Because he was dead.

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Why did the little boy cry and run home from the store? Because the store was out of pickles.

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2 Priests and a Monk walk into a bar, All 3 were stabbed to death in a bar fight.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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A bloke walked in to a bakers shop and asked for a loaf of bread. Certainly sir, said the assistant, white or brown?...it doesn't matter, answered the man, I've left my bike outside

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Three guys at the beach decided to bet on who could swim the farthest. The first guy, could not swim so he lost. The second guy got a cramp right away. The third one swam far away into the distance, and was not seen or heard on for days... Three weeks later his corpse was found floating by the shore. The other two died out of guilt.

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I hate it when people pour my cereal. They don't know how much I want. They don't know my life. They don't know what I've been through.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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