What is red and green and goes round and round? A frog in a blender!

what did one mute say to the other? Nothing.

How is a monkey like a bicycle? They can both climb trees. Except for the bicycle.

what is the difference between a boy scout and a jew? boy scouts come back from camp.

What do you call a dog riding a bicycle? An talented dog.

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because it lacked the requisite musculature to facilitate locomotion

What's a black man's favorite fruit? Clementines.

Studies show that 95% of house fires are caused by fire.

What do you call an alligator wearing a vest? An extremely talented reptile.

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

Do you like apples? Yes

Engage in a lively debate with a friend, and when they are about to stump you, respond to whatever they say next with "What does that have to do with the price of tea in China?"

Where do drunk asians live? In their house or apartment with their families, who are concerned about his drinking.

get in the car.

Why was Mary's phone call suddenly disconnected? She was raped.

Women's Rights

Have you seen Stevie Wanders new house? No. Neither has he.

What's the difference between gun and penis? A child doesn't start to cry when gun shoots in its mouth.

How do you send Harry Potter a post card? Get an owl to send it to his house.

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Yo mama so fat, her Patronus is a cake.

What's worse than getting your dog neutered? You being the dog.

What's scarier than a ghost? Ur mum.

Q: Why are asians good at math? A: Because they study with their tutor every tuesday

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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