In the middle of a long flight from Heathrow to Chicago O'Hare, the passengers of a 747 watched the engines all suddenly flame out. "Now, folks," the captain said over the PA as the plane plummeted to the earth, "I want it on record that I said it in plain English: a 747 can't fly from Heathrow to Chicago without refueling." No one bothered writing it down.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why does the gay person where a leather motorcycle suit? Because he drives motorcycles.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

We got him in about five minutes, the kid will already be exhausted by the point we get to him, r rather, he gets to us. Pretty quick for a small geek I got to say, the photography we got of him is an obvious Photoshop, but he seems similar enough I guess. I would call, but it seems someone has been messing with all other "Erron`s" homes and phones if I had not dropped mine, I would not have noticed we have been bugged for a while, pretty professional gear too,

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What is the difference between a Ferrari and a bag of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Hey, I just met you And this is crazy This song doesn't rhyme PENIS

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you call a blonde surgeon? Not stereotypical

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's worse than eating a baby? Eating two babies filled with maggots.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why is Timmy afraid of x-rays? The last time Timmy had an x-ray, the radiation was too much for him, giving him terminal cancer, which also explains why he will die in the next 24 hours.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's the difference between a black male and a white female? There are many differences but all of which are wrong to make a joke about.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

There are two muffins in a oven, the first muffin is chocolate chip and the second muffin is blueberry.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Yes 59 10 away from my faverite number....... 49

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Graphed: hey kids it's time to grape ya in the mouth Girl: noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Random guy who sponsors the comercial: why is she screaming isn't thus about our new grape drink? Grapist: well… yes but look at the wY she's dresses she totally wants it.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

An Asian, a white man and a black man were running in a race. The Asian won and the black man came second due to his lack of training and motivation over the past couple of months.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Two homosexuals walk into a bedroom, and begin to have sex.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

how do you get blondes to drown? stick a mirror to the bottom of the pool

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's the difference between the son of a prostitute and Luke Skywalker? Luke knew who his father was.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Your momma is so ugly she gave freedy krooger nightmares!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What is Worst than having a cancer ? Having two cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Sarah Palin's political campaign

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How much is that doggie in the window? $4.95 + Shipping&Handling

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally, she has no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why are aspirins white? Because the creator of aspirin didn't feel it necessary to color the pills.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did Lebron go to Miami? Because Chuck Norris told him to.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops