There were three men in a race: Crap, Manners, and Shut Up. During the race, Crap fell and Manners stopped to pick him up, Shut Up kept on speeding. The police stopped him. Here is there converstation: Police 1: Whats your name? Shut Up: Shut Up Police 2: Wheres your manners? Shut Up: Back there picking up crap.

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How many pencils does it take to get an A on a test? Actually it takes knowledge.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Banana! Banana who? Knock knock! Who's there? Banana! Banana who? Knock knock! Who's there? Orange! Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't stab you 17 times in the kidney?

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Tom: So I heard a pretty good Anti-Joke the other day. Jim: Oh, I love those!! What was it? Tom: [says nothing]

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One day a married couple have a conversation. The husband says, "Make me a sandwich." The wife says, "Okay, what do you want on it?"

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How do you confuse a gay person? How? 7

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Why did the man cry when he received his meal at McDonalds? They didn't give him a happy meal.

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how did the ant die? i stepped on it

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Two black men and a latino board a plane together. They are members of the Marshall High School football team, and all die in the subsequent crash.

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Two Jews walk into a bar. They promptly order their drinks and leave.

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Q: What do the French call a quarter pounder with cheese? A: Le Royale with cheese

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How do you get a priest to cry? Stab him.

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Whats the difference between a black man and a bucket of shit? The bucket.

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Yo mamma so fat We are all seriously concerned for her health

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Your mother is so fat that her BMI is larger than average.

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penis haha

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A man walks into a bar, but it was a gay bar, and the man was a homosexual so he stayed and had fun then later that night he went home to his girlfriend

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how do you burn a lot of calories? set a fat kid on fire

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Sometimes I wonder; why is that frisbee getting closer? Then it hits me. Someone just threw a frisbee at me.

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Yeah sure comment below, and soylent green is fucking people! Moral: "You are judging the spitting image of yourself, except that you are doomed to remain ignorant and judgmental"

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How are humans like slinkies? - They are not good for very much and bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs!

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How do you kill Chuck Norris. Shoot him in the face

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What do you call a naked couple? Horny.

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Why did the boy fall out of his seat? He was being strangled with a piano wire.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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