Son: Mommy, Mommy can i have a cookie! Mom:Sure Honey there on the top shelf Son:But mommy i have no arms Mom:No arms, No cookies

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "James" "James who?" "What the heck?You forgot me already?Its your bestfriend dude.Now let me in." ~Lil

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What do you get when you mix a refrigerator with a microwave? A refrigerated microwave.

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There is big difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse And helping your uncle jack off a horse

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A girl cries as she drops a box of uncooked spaghetti noodles, spilling and breaking them onto the floor. She has brittle bone disease.

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There once was a baby named Paul Bunyan who was as big as a house. His mother died at childbirth.

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why did the chicken cross the street i dont know thats why im asking you

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Knock knock, who's there? Doctor. Doctor who?

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Who swept the woman off her feet? A kidnapper

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Why did the chicken cross the road... so people could keep asking that question for 4000 years

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It just didn't.

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How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Yarn

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Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

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If 6 is afraid of 7, what is 7 afraid of? ...Chuck Norris.

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Andy Carrol

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Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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a boy fell in mud... a kid took a bath with bubbles... bubbles was the girl next door!

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks him, "Would you like a drink?". The horse cannot understand english and is confused by its surroundings. The horse gallops out of the bar knocking over a few stools

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Roses are red. Violets are blue.

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I can be considerate if like someone is burning to death and I was the one considerate enough to lit them on fire... Wait no, I am considerate towards my friends (which are all ladies, all men besides me are obstacles and nothing else) AAAAND my logic processor broke down. Anyway, please do me the honors, take the last message.

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What's more fun that being raped? Not being raped.

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I forgot my joke about gamblers, but i bet you would have loved it!

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How do you shoot an eagle? You don't. The eagle is going too fast for you.

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Hey Eliza, thanks, while I appreciate the help, Alice is crying in a corner and refusing to get up, I wont lie, for a moment there I could "see voices and music" and valium has taken care of the ptsd (and blown most of my brain, which is nice for a change). With that said, im on 40 mg ritalin which is a lot, but I need it, besides I can handle the anxiety. I have no idea who the guy typing this is, but he is following me to the letter, so thats good enough, except his typos being worse than mine, which is pretty good for a guy that barely speaks english. Sorry Eliza, but Alice is having a breakdown here, ill talk her down a bit first, she tries to hide it, but she is far more worried about me than I am, which is nice, just not like this, ill be right back with you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops