What did the Buddhist monk say to the hot dog vendor? Monks do not speak.

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You've been in robotics too long if you start talking to your tools. You've been in there way too long if they start talking back!

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Did you hear about the 2 car crash in a walmart parking lot? 50 mexicans died

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Guy finds lamp in the desert and rubs it three times. No genie appears because there's no such thing as magic.

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven threatened to kill him and his family.

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You know that feeling you get when you see your crush walking towards you? No, I'm blind.

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How many jewish people can you fit in a Volkswagen? depending on the class of car but a mid range SUV can seat up to seven.

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What's worse than a baby in a dumpster? A baby in two dumpsters

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A man walk to the store and buys some clothes.

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Why did the guy jump out of the plane? he was parachuting

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what is the difference between batman and a black guy. bat man is white

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What did the pineapple say to the apple? Nothing, neither can speak.

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roses are red violets are blue if i had a gun i would shoot you

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Q: what is green, red, white, on fire, in space A: i dont know you tell me

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I always like to pack a second pair of pants, because if there's one thing my mother ever said to me it was 'please, I'm begging you - don't put me in a home.'

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Why did the young boy lose a testicle? Because he was viciously raped by a large parrot

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knock knock whos there rock rock who rocks dont knock stupid

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A woman is in a terrible car crash. The husband comes in, runs to the doctor and he says "Doctor! My wife...is she going to make it?" The doctor turns and says "your wife will survive, but she's experienced heavy brain trauma. She will never walk again. You'll have to bathe her, feed her, change her diapers, and cater to her every need." The husband starts crying and says "oh my God that's terrible! Are you serious?" The doctor replies "Yes."

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartenders asks "Why the long face?"

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Muslim? -You can research and find several similarities and differences, but I will not go into detail about them.

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2 gay men walked into a bar, The next day they want back to the bar, They went back on the third day but only 1 man came back out and he was in tears, This was because the other man had a cardiac arrest and died.

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Whats blue, green and red, and runs trough the strees each sunday? ...What? I have no idea, I was hoping you did.

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What was that pirate movie rated? PG-13

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I like my women like I like my coffee. Hot, black, liquid, and in a cup.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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