How do you dance to the black eyed peas? You don't you listen

How do you tell if an alien had been in your house? All your lightbulbs are gone and your fridge is pregnant.

The original Moral Man has left Horsehead network, but I will keep monitoring this section for like 3 hours... Then probably never again on this shit site it barely works ffs! Moral: "Turn every stone, and you might find a penny, turn every penny and you might find a stone that stone is in our shoe, kick it away, crush it, destroy it"

A priest, a minister, and a rabbi all walk into a bar and ask the bartender for a drink, but in response the bartender politely points out that there are probably people in need of their assistance at their respective place of warship.

Q: What happened when the Mexican went to the doctors? A: He was diagnosed with depression.

What's black, white and red all over? Half a penguin.

4

Where did the farmer take his pigs on Saturday afternoon? the Slaughterhouse

-What did the duck say to Federico Costa nearby the phonebox in a rainy day? -Quack

Why do people on here submit anti-jokes involving children getting raped or killed? Because the people on this website are sadists. =/

how do you make my dad say oww? throw a baseball bat at him.

"Solids tunderf" he said, while chewing his gum.

Q: Why can't Micheal J Fox draw a perfect circle? A: Because drawing a perfect circle is impossible for any human. Actually a perfect circle doesn't exist.

A man walks into a bar, he begins drinking and returns home visably drunk. His family disowns him as he is a recovering alchoholic who was three months sober.

How many licks does it take to get to center of a tootsie pop? pickles, 7:00 pm, wood, shoulder pain

Q:Whats worse than you touching yourself at night A: The holocaust

What do 69 and 420 have in common? That was my score on my Math final:(

Student: This guy is bothering me! Teacher: And you expect me to do something about it?

So yesterday I went to find a pair of camo pants, And I did

Is this the krusty Crab? No you idiot this is a phone!!!!!

What's worse than being raped? Being raped twice.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it's drivers license had been revoked for all of it's DWI's.

What do you get when you cross a lamb and a pigeon? You get your house taken away.

A: "Knock knock." B: "Who's there?" A: "John Doe." B: "John Doe who?" A: "..."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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