one day a hippy and a nun wer on a bus, the hippy asks, Will you have sex with me? the none replies, heck no im a nun. the nun gets off the bus and the hippy follows. the bus driver stops him and says, i know how you can have sex with her, she goes to the cemitary at 9:00 every night, dress us as jesus and command her to have sex with you. okay thanks! the hippy says. that night the hippy dress's up as jesus finds the nun and says " i am jesus and i command you to have sex with me. The nun says okay but only A n a l because im a nun! and they get to it, when there done the hippy takes off his mask and says haha im the hippy, the nun takes off her mask and says haha im the bus driver!! like if you get it :)

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If I said you had a beautiful body would you stop asking me if those jeans make you look fat?

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Justin Bieber walks into a bar…. He was shot

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Why was the crazy person allowed to leave the asylum? The ombusman's report will be on your desk this morning minister.

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Two Jewish men walk into a bar...just kidding it was a gas chamber.

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Why did sally fall of the swing? She had no arms or legs Knock knock who's there? Not sally

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Have you heard the one about the monkey who jumped off the roof? Neither have I.

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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of trousers? To get to the other side.

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What's black and white and read all over? A lot of things.

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What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Dam...

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How do you make a little boy get off a swing? You are an adult and perhaps it is inappropriate for you to be on a swing, especially when it is already occupied by a child of the right age.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Your Adopted Deal With It!!!

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(In a job interview) Interviewer: Name a time when you've failed sometime Me: I failed an HIV test last June, anything else?

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How can you tell if someones gay? You ask them.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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How do you stop a bus ? Put 3 small children in front of it Whats sad about 3 children who died in a bus crash ? They were my kids. How do you know if you're blind ? You run in to a wall

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whats orange, green and has a treadmill attached to it? a cantaloupe, i lied about the treadmill.

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yo mama so fat, she weighs 478 pounds and is in high risk of cardiovascular dieses and/or heart failure.

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whats black and blue and has three legs? An abused deformed person.

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There is a bomb. It blows up and kills 26 people.

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What did the one stethoscope say to the other stethoscope? Nothing. Stethoscopes can't talk.

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you know why Michael J Fox makes the best milkshakes? no... but his milkshakes brings all the boys to the yard

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What happened when the chicken crossed the road? I got feathers stuck in my cars grill

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An Irish, an English, a Chinese and a French are together in a boat. And it shows the diversity of our society.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops