Two men are making sandwiches, one man is spreading peanut butter over the bread and the other man is spreading honey and Italian raspberry jam over rye bread. the man with the peanut butter sandwich looks over and says "HEY, where did you get the rye bread?" and the man with the rye bread says "well my wife made it yesterday and I would be delighted if you come over for some tea, and tried some of my wife's homemade rye bread".

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Whats red and smells like cherries? Cherries

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? It's hard to say, as this number depends on a large number of factors including the average area covered by one lick, the pH of saliva, the solubility of Tootsie Pops, the temperature of both the saliva and the Tootsie Pop, and the amount of saliva deposited on the Tootsie Pop after each lick. This is not to mention all the manufacturing irregularities that may occur during production, and varying tongue shapes and solvency properties of saliva.

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What is the difference between a black man and a burnt pizza? -Nothing there both black.

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what did the teacher say to his student? do your work.

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Why couldn't the man see the camoflague iguana He could.

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what did the homeless man get for Christmas? RAPED.

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What's the difference between a black guy and a piece of chicken? They were once both alive and innocent. I lied about the black guy.

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How do you kill a Mexican? Rupture its vital organs like any other organism ,but murder is wrong and should not be done under any circumstance

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Nothing, we eat pizza and we respect Jews.

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There was a man that invited his uncle, his uncle his uncle his uncle, his uncle and his uncle spidey to a party. He was really dissapointed when he realized that not only was his invitation full of typos, but that he invited Peter Parker twice and forgot to invite spiderman.

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Why did the girl drop out of school? She was being sexually assaulted by her mothers alcoholic boyfriend and was having trouble coping.

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Q: What did Batman say to Robin right before they got in the b\Batmobile? A: "Robin, get in the Batmobile."

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your mothers so blonde she has yellow hair.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? No one OK???? BYE, BYE U still there? Yeah Umm . . . ?

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what do JFK, plato, and a dead penguin have in common? theyre all dead.

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How Do You Fart Eat Beans

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What kind of dance does an alien do? None, aliens aren't real.

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what did the dead cat say to the dead dog? Nothing, they're dead

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Statistically speaking, one out if every seven dwarves are unhappy

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whats the difference between Michael Jackson and a shopping cart? One holds groceries. The other molests small children.

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After tesco's horse burgers, what's next? My lidl pony

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Whats the difference between Lady Gaga and Justin Bieber? Lady Gaga has a penis.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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