What did the little boy get for Christmas? A pair of broken sunglasses, because his parents didn't care about him, and because he lived in Hawaii where it is very hot in December. Plus the kid's blind. By Nikhil Sridhar of Taikoo Shing, Hong Kong.

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism. "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "I already asked ''Banana who?'' Is that your real name? Who is this really?" "Knock Knock." "You are upsetting me. I am calling the police now. Please get off my property."

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a Sociopath with a very violent history.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. A family is tied-up and screaming for help in my basement.

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If only i were a man! You not! Your a.... WO-MAN!

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women's rights

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Why do you never see hippopotamus hiding in trees? They are really good at it.

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im the real danny hamilton you stupid asshole

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Why did the duck cross the road? Because it was going to the destination he wanted to go to.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because there was no oncoming traffic.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme But this one doesn't.

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What did my grandma tell me during a funeral? Nothing. It's her funeral. She's dead.

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-What's funnier than a dog with no legs? -The movie Dumb and Dumber, in my opinion.

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THE GAME

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If you're riding on a jet ski and the wheels fall off, how many pancakes does it take to cover a car? Blue. Because Ice cream doesn't have any bones.

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Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're all dead.

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roses are red, violets are violet.

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Did you hear about the kidnapping in Pennsylvania? He woke up...

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The joke below this comment is stupid. Lets go Mets

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A French man gets into a fight

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Justin Bieber

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how do you know when you're a man? massive erection.

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Who is best known for causing the Mt. St. Helens Eruption, The World Series Earthquake, and The Asian Tsunami in 2004? According to insurance companies, God.

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I have sexdaily. I mean dyslexic. Fcuk!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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