Q. What do you tell a women with two black eyes? A. Stop pissing him off!

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a larger worm in your apple.

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A man is in the desert and he finds a lamp, he rubs the lamp and out comes a genie! The genie says "I can grant your three wishes, for releasing me from the lamp" The man says "I wish I didn't have AIDS".

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How did the magician make his assistant disappear? He killed her and then cremated her body

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What do you get if you mix razor blades with babies? An erection.

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why was the man's arm bleeding? Because he just got shot in the arm...

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Q: Why was the baby crying? A: I kicked it.

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What happened as a result of the bitter terrorist attack? The president began to devise a plan to help the abused child

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whats small and tickles? pubic lice

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What's the difference between two telephone poles? T-shirts! Because motorcycles don't have doors!

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Why is ms Wolfe mean? Because she is a poop face

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Have you ever seen a dinosaur? No

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What did the chicken say when it crossed the road? Nothing. Chickens can't talk.

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Your mama's so fat, that when she opened the window, wind came in!!!

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Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber where walking in New York . They both get ice cream... then bieber gets hit by a bus.

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a white man, a black man, a chinese man and a mexican man stand at the edge of a roof. the chinese man stands at the edge and says "this is for ma people" and jumps off. then the mexican stands at the edge of the roof and says "this is for my people" and jumps off. finally, the black man stands at the edge of the roof and shouts "this is for my people!" and throws the white man off. The End XD

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Why couldn't Austin eat his noodles? He was a horse, and horses don't have hands, silly goose!

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Sally

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Why was the black man sent to prison? He was wrongfully accused of a crime which is a fine example of how flawed today's justice system is.

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dont you love porch monkeys? no.

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Why is Adam saying numbers? He is a maths teacher.

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Q: What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas? A: A funeral.

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A man was late for work, he came to a stop for his third red light. He stopped and waited for the red light to turn green then continued on his way to work.

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Why couldn't Suzie ride the swings? She got hit by a refrigerator.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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