What rhymes with bigger and can jump really high? Tigger

Your mama's so fat.

Once there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

What do you do when jews take over your country? Invade Poland.

Dr Dr I think I have diarrhea You have irritable bowel syndrome, I recommend IBS support

why did the one handed man cross the road? to get to the secondhand shop.

Knock, Knock. Who's there? It's the police, they ask the questions.

Do you know what hurts? An abortion.

R.I.P. Steve Jobs

Whats the hardest part of eating a vegetable? The wheelchair.

whats big green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? a pool table

You really need some help in spelling the word GOD... Anyway, none of your fucking business.I am a child for this scenario only so... Moral: LET THAT CHILD ALONE!

knock knock whos there open the door and find out

What do you do when a man in a corner offers you candy? You walk away.

whats red and looks like a bucket? a red bucket whats blue and looks like a bucket? a red bucket in disguise

A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Well that, my friend, is a good question.

http://www.google.com/imgres?q=harry+styles+stupid&start=148&hl=en&safe=active&sa=X&biw=1022&bih=539&tbm=isch&prmd=imvnso&tbnid=L4yN-90F2S2nXM:&imgrefurl=http://www.britishbeautyblogger.com/2012/05/justin-bieber-nails.html&docid=yYdBShdYVODKdM&imgurl=http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-YFyj_mKUypY/T6VP6iGQeCI/AAAAAAAAJjI/y6cpVYjn9Gs/s1600/harry.PNG&w=573&h=413&ei=ZY7HT_XqHo2c8QStiY2IDw&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=724&vpy=140&dur=435&hovh=191&hovw=265&tx=75&ty=135&sig=110416686013590693091&page=12&tbnh=148&tbnw=229&ndsp=13&ved=1t:429,r:7,s:148,i:142

I love results day! for every A* I get 30 pounds! everything else I cut myself.

If a tree falls, and nobody is around to hear it, does it still make a sound? No. While the falling tree surely creates mechanical oscillations in the air, sound is defined as the mechanical oscillations in the air perceived by humans. Therefore, since no humans were around to hear the tree fall, it did not create a sound.

What do you call a middle-aged man at a preschool? A teacher.

Why'd the man walk his dog His pen ran out of ink

Q: What did Stevie Wonder eat for dinner last night? A: Something consumable

What do you do when you walk downstairs and see your TV floating? Call Ghostbusters.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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