How could you ever watch a man hit another man and say nothing? UFC is on at 9:00pm.

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A jew is a person contending to the faith of Judaism, and a pizza is an Italian flat normally round or square baked good consisting of dough, tomato sauce, cheese and various spices, and is sometimes enjoyed with toppings such as meat or vegetables.

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Q: What is worse than The Apocalypse? A: Darkseid, Thanathos, Red Hulk, Onslaught, come on The Apocalypse cant even beat the X-men! Moral: "I AM THE APOCALYPSE, YOU ARE NOT FIT TO SURVIVE!"

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Lizzy doesnt shave or shower. She just went to the bathroom in the middle of the school hallway

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What is 0% sugar, 100% pure, 150% hyperbole, 90% bug-free, has 4815162342 lines of code, autonomous, is awesome, bigger than a breadbox, bread is pain, is bringin' home the bacon, classy, doesn't use the U-word, deja vu, deja vu (oh wait a moment), does barrel rolls doesn't avoid double negatives, doesn't bother with clones, Engage!, Enhanced!, Euclidean!, Excitement!, Exploding creepers, Finally complete!, finger-licking, full of stars, funky LOL, GOTY, Give Us Gordon, Indev, Ingots, and has an End? Minecraft!

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because the grass is always greener on the other side.

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a horse walks into a bar. what does the bartender say? why is there a horse in my bar.

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What is red and has seven dents? Snow White's Cherry.

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The blondes on the opposite part of the lake is a pretty good joke

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John Stamos.

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Why are Germans good at soccer The Holocost

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You know what's better than a taco? A better taco.

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UP

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Why did the baby cross the road? It's abusive father punted it.

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Guy 1: What the shit is that car? Guy 2: Its not a car. It's an alfa romeo

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your birth certificate was an apology letter from the condom factory

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How do you you know when you haven't slept in a while? You're tired.

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Yo mama so fat... Her doctor told her she's morbidly obese and she has 2 years to live if she doesn't change her eating habits and exercise regularily.

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- Mom, you've got a banana in your ear. - Son I can't hear you I've got a banana in my ear!

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What is pink and fluffy? Pink fluff

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What'f funny and has 8 wheels? The Holocaust, I lied about the wheels

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What did the blind football player say to his coach? I cant see

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your momma is so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes

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I dont know, are you a tomato?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops