If life gives you lemons, steal the declaration of independance and use the lemons and a hair dryer to reveal the numbers on the back. Then enbark on an epic journey that ends with the discovery of the templars treasure. Lastly, use the money you earned to buy some lemons and make some lemonade.

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What does DNA stand for? The National Dyslexic Association

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What has 2 brown legs and 2 gray legs? An elephant with diarrhea.

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A girl was walking home from school, she had a pizza box in her hands, her mom was waiting for her in the car to take her to T.G.I.F, and then she dropped the pizza box in the middle of the street. In a frantic attemp to get the box, she run out into the middle of the street and got hit by a semi. Her funeral is tomorrow.

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this sentence will not monkey banana pie

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why did Jake have a bad spring break? Because he got hit by a car and died

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Why is Cindy crying? She got a branch stuck in her eye which irritated her sensitive cornea so her tear duct produced a tear to help shed the material from her eye.

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Two strippers are out of work. So they turn to prostitution.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting ran over by a truck.

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Q: What is George Harrison's favorite hairstyle? A: How can we know? He's dead!

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Why did the girl put on make-up and perfume? Because she was ugly and smelled bad.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i got 5 Fingers, the middle ones for you ?

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Steve: Hey ask me if Im a Pelican. Bob: Are you a pelican? Steve: YES.

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Why is jim gay? because he likes men

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Knock knock Who's there? An elf. An elf who? An elf who wants to be a dentist.

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How do you make friends with a squrriel? Trust me, don't.

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roses are red violets are blue dinosaurs are extinct obama is black

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What did the cow say to the chicken? Moo.

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There is a bomb. It blows up and kills 26 people.

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A black man, a jew, and an atheist are on a boat. Suddenly the boat started sinking. A mermaid would only save two of them. who do did she save? Mermaids don't exist. The all died. They were my friends.

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Whats worse than eating a worm? Haveing a worm die in your penis.

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Why did the Asian Cross the road? Because the crossing signal went green!

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Why does Nathan Rogers never get any pussy? Because goblins have small dicks

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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