So my girlfriend says I'm a pedophile. What does she know she's nine.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: How should I know?

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Yo mama so fat... Her doctor told her she's morbidly obese and she has 2 years to live if she doesn't change her eating habits and exercise regularily.

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A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

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Roses are red Violets are buckets This poem makes no sense Boobs

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know. Chickens are incapable of communicating with humans and thus the intent of the chicken can only be speculated.

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What's the worst part about censorship? **** *** **** **** *** **** *** ********.

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A boy walks into his friend's house for a party. While he waits for his friends to return from the bar he realizes there are many people waiting in different lines for various kinds of drinks. After his friends return he decides he does not want any of the carbonated drinks they had ordered, instead he chooses to wait in the fruit punch line. There is no punch line.

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I Have a Black Friend

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how do you fit 20 babies into a bucket? you put them into a blender. how do you get them out? chips.

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Why did the boy laugh? Mr Tickle was his babysitter

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Cows make a world go round and round They also live in the town town town They make a funny sound sound sound MOO MOO MOO MOO MOO Where do cows go on saturdays? The MOOvies I am Cow Hear me MOO I weigh 10 times more than you! Why are cows black and white? Cause they dont want to be racist

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Q: Why was Sally crying? A: Because someone punched her in the face

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Q:Why did the man fall down the stair I don't know? A:Because he wasn't careful

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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer? This would be unlikely to happen, as it would cut the story short.

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whats the difference between jimmy saville and a horse? jimmy has a bigger cock

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A white guy, a black guy, and a Spanish guy jump off of a building. Due to acceleration of gravity, they hit the ground at a fast speed and die.

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Hi is the longest two letter word in the world

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What's the difference between me and convicted pedophile? -The pedophile's been caught ;)

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A black man walks into a bar and a white man says "we don't allow coloured men in here". the black man sighs and walks out, wondering what he ever did wrong, and makes his way to the liqour store, to buy some beer to drown his sorrows over his mothers death. On the way, a racist white man shoots and kills him. Then, at his funeral, someone makes the joke "Wow, how ironic. The black guy was the victim.."

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Did you hear about the homeless man? He asked me if I had any spare change. I didn't. I found the encounter to be very depressing.

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What was Hellen Keller's Dog's name? Kamikaze Go, it was the first Akita Dog in the United States.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The Holocaust.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops