thumbs up!

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what language does the turtle speak? i dont know I'm not a turtle.

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- Mom, you've got a banana in your ear. - Son I can't hear you I've got a banana in my ear!

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A man walks into a bar and says "hey, it's me!". Turns out that wasn't him.

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whats your name? bumder:)

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there Not Suzie.

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Q: what do you call obama A:a dumbass

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Why was the toddler laying in the middle of the road? Because she was the victim of a hit and run...

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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What did the Anti-Semitic man say to the Jewish man beside him? Hello.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

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What's round and red? A red and round solid.

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Roses are yellow Violets are also yellow Please don't stereotype again

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How do you kill the President of the United States? Your name has been reported to the authorities.

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How many Jews does it take to fix a gas leak?...

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Did the boy ever tell you how he died? Trick questions he's dead, deceased bodies can't talk.

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How does a penguin make pancakes out of skis? Purple because it's the best.

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There was a baby, and it wouldnt stop crying. So the mom shook it and shook it. Then it stopped crying.

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why was 6 afraid of 7? He's not.

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Q: What is the likely outcome of anyone who watches 'WWE'? A: They will lose their virginity to a hooker.

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why did the man jump off the building? to commit suicide.

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What is worse than finding a worm in an apple? The Holocaust

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More mindfuck "government hypnosis edition": What can doctors possibly do in order for you to wait enough for them to come to help you? They call you "their PATIENT!" Moral: So be patient and wait, oh thee brainwashed.

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A black guy walks into a shoe store and buys a pair of size 14 shoes. The cashier smiles and says: so is it true what they say about big feet? The black guy laughs for a moment and responds: yeah it's really hard to find socks that fit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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