Why didn't Jimmy go to school? Because his school was nuked.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Have you heard the joke that they don't tell retarded people? You haven't? Well then alright let me tell you because it's actually quite amusing.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why couldn't the young girl play outside with her friends? She was bed ridden with terminal cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Where did Suzie go during the bombing? Everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A man is about to rape a girl. Before penetration he carefully and correctly applies a condom as he practices safe sex and is not yet ready to father a child.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How do you find Will Smith in a snowstorm? You look for the black guy.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Jesus was nailed to the cross by Roman guards... His disciples were kept behind a line of guards and they could not hear Jesus speak. They can see he was saying something, so they had to get closer to hear what he was saying. John dodged a guard and ran towards Jesus, but a guard cut his leg off with a sword... Peter ran for it and got past John but another guard cut off one of his legs... Matthew saw this opportunity to dodge both guards and jets past both John and Peter and gets to the foot of the cross... Jesus looks down at Matthew and says, "Matthew.... I can see your house from here!"

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q: What's different about a boy and a girl? A: Nothing. There used to be a notable difference but nowadays you have to strain in order to tell them apart.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's wrong with woman Everything

thumb_up thumb_down -11

whats red and black and green all over? a paint job gone bad

thumb_up thumb_down -11

whats the difference between a pair of shoes, and a computer. alot.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a blonde girl with ponytails? A cheerleader.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken crossed the road accidentaly as chickens are absent minded.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

John - hey do you have tickets to see Oasis? Sam - No I bought green day tickets intead. John rolls his eyes at sam very dissapointedly then proceeds to go home. The next day Sam phones John excitedly telling him he traded his Green day tickets for Oasis tickets, a smile appears on Johns and Sams faces, not that they can see each other, they both then put the phone down. An African died. Green Day are a bad band.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What happens when you drop the soap in Prison? You pick it back up and go about your business.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Christopher Reeve walks into a room.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why does dan leave Amy? Because dan is in another relationship and did not want to be unlawful to Amy.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt it hit a poll and died of brain damage the next day

thumb_up thumb_down -13

she wasn't 18

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why didn't the girl put on her mascara? Because she was too poor to buy any.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

If you were a Transformer, you would be Optimus Fine.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What happens when a PC gamer without a mic rages? ASDKFHQIUEWHASKZNF9324Y8PTWFSDIUHASDFADSFUFKASJDF843QADKJVNCXT%$W(ESDHDSFAAASDFASKLDFU8EWADSdsfalsdkjfhuewanzxcAJSKDFUIEW

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's black and blue and red all over? A baby right after I kill it

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why was the black woman poor? Well, she grew up in a wealthy family, but both of her parents died. Her new parents were not very supportive and she began to not care about school. She did not go to college because of this and was not able to get a job. Therefore, she had no money.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops