Knock knock Who's there? The mailman The mailman who? The MAILMAN The MAILMAN who? I'm the Fu*king mailman now here's your MAIL!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A man opens his sock drawer, grabs his socks and puts them on.........He dies 5 minutes later.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what do you say to someone acting like an idiot? hey, if you keep acting like an idiot im gunna hit you with a freakin bat , you stupid fubu!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? My cheese

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Umm Q Umm 69 Best one ever

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did Helen Keller say to a stranger at a party? I earned a Bachelor of Arts degree, wrote several books, traveled to over 39 countries, and was awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom, one of the United States' highest two civilian honors, from President Lyndon B. Johnson.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

three men get stranded on a island and cannibals find them and they say go find 3 fruits and come back. first guy comes back with three apples and they say we will shuve them in your rectum and if you scream we will kill you he screams he dies. second guy comes back with grapes and he laughs before they can start. and in heaven the first guy says why did you laugh and he says there voices are funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

If I had a gun with only 2 bullets, and was in a room with Hitler, Osama Bin Laden, and you; i would shot Hitler and Osama because they committed terrible crimes

thumb_up thumb_down +7

why did the chicken cross the road? There was a depletion of its natrual habitat due to deforistation and it was searching for a new home.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

An Irish man walks into a bar. He then sits down and enjoys his favorite drink.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

hey what are you eating there? a giant scorpion that tried to rape me.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why was the women's basketball player laughed at. The slippery floor caused her to stumble and fall.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Mcfly: Doc! i have to tell you about the future! Doc: Ok.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a black man with a hoe? A farmer.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I see, said the deaf man to the blind guy.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What time is the dentist appointment? Time for you to get a watch

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are red Violets are blue I hate sex Especially with you

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Both my milk chocolate and my white chocolate are brown. Why? I crapped on my white chocolate.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse replies "My wife just died from pancreatic cancer."

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had sinned.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's brown and sticky? 'Brown' is a colour, and 'sticky' is a consistency. Please try and use correct grammar.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what do you call a muslim flying a plane? A pilot you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

only downer about having sex in the dark is........................ when u look out window and guy u thought u were sleeping with waving and laugh

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did sally fall off the wings? She had no arms Knock knock Who's there NOT SALLY HAHAHAHA LOVE YOU JK

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops