Guess how old my lil bro is...Well your wrong cause he's dead.

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How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie into in!

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How do you get three Canadians out of a pool? Say "Hey guys time to get out of the pool."

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What would Guy and Hemech's reactions be if they saw this joke up? They would see it from the newest jokes

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Nock Nock. Whose there? The chicken.

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PENlS.

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What requires lots of rubbing, dirty pictures, and leaves you happy for a little bit, but then you realize you're sad and lonely? A minimum wage job where you clean pictures.

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When life gives you lemon squeeze it in someone's face

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The mighty wizard said "come fourth cowardly lion and receive bravery" but he came fifth and got absolutely nothing. Todo came fourth and got the bravery.

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Man is hit by a falling tree his friend immediately responds "Got Wood" the man is now paraplegic

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A Tatooine moisture farmer, an old man, an astromech droid, and a potocol droid walk into a cantina at Mos Eisley Space Port. The bartender says, "Hey, we don't serve their kind here! Your droids will have to wait outside." The moisture farmer then says to his droids, "Why don't you wait out by the speeder, we don't want any trouble." The protocol droid replies, "I heartily agree, sir."

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What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

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How do you stop a black guy from drowning? You take your foot off of his face

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A little boy started choking on a condom. His father came and was in a great panic. "Please don't leave me. I don't want to lose you!" he cried over and over again. Then his wife came in and said "it's alright darling, there's plenty more in the drawer". "Oh, thank God for that, I thought I lost it there!" dad replied.

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Oh, I must be hearing things.

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What do a ginger kid get for christmas ? it dusen't matter... gingers don't have souls.

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A black man walks in to a bar, and is promptly escorted from the premises, for being under the age of 21

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A black man went on the bus and sat down next to a white man. The white man looked up from his magazine and stared at the black man. They then chit-chatted and enjoyed their trip.

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What happened in your mom's locked bedroom last night I don't know

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Roses are red, Muslims are brown, When I see them swimming, I hope that they drown!

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Why did Kelly never see Wass? cus she never looked in right places !!!

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Jack and Jill climbed up the hill .... and fetched a pail of water.

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roses are red violets are blue shut the fuck up or ill fuck you

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Q: How many light bulbs does it take to change a blonde? A: One, if she tries to swallow it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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