Making a good analogy is like making a chocolate sundae; either way there are simply no reindeer left, and the glass of water you once had is now gone.

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Roses are red, Violets are purple

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My neighbor's kid was running around yelling magical spells. I said "Wow, you really want to be like Harry Potter, don't you?". He said "Yes!". So, I killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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WNBA

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There was this women at a banana festival, but she didn't like bananas. So she split

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How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb? none, you can't see them in the dark. V

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Why couldn't the kid get into the pirate movie? Tickets were sold out.

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? Because he's dead.

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Are u that bald or is your neck blowing bubbles.

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knock knock!! kanye west

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A woman goes into the supermarket and buys a single banana, a canned meal for one and some ice cream. While paying for her items, the cashier looks up at her and says "I can tell you're single" "Oh yeah? How'd you know?" The woman asks. "Because you're ugly as fuck." Replies the cashier.

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What do you call a blind fish? Amblyopsidae.

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Why did the man drink his own piss? Because he was Bear Grylls

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I think I lost my number so can I... No you can't because phone numbers can't be lost

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What Does the Duck Say? "Got any grapes?"

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock... Who's there? Not Suzy.

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A blonde woman walked into a bar. She ordered a scotch.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had just been brutally raped by a lawnmower. The lawnmower had been hit by a car. The woman driving the car was suffering from Alzheimers disease. Which then escalated from the stress of the accident that she took her cat and ripped his right ass cheek then continued on with her day

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I've had amnesia as long as I can remember

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What did the doctor say to the patient? You have cancer.

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A rabbi and a jew walk into a bar and had lot's of crazy anal sex ... then asked god for forgiveness. the end

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Q:how man ADD kids does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: I dont know, wanna go ride bikes?

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Yo mamma's so old she is dead.

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Yo mama so fat... Her doctor told her she's morbidly obese and she has 2 years to live if she doesn't change her eating habits and exercise regularily.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops