What did the man say when he turned on his car? AAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHH!

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Q.Why did the chicken cross the road? A.forty-two

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side. knock knock. who's there? the chicken.

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What did the man say to the bartender when he wanted a beer? Get me a beer.

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Roses are red violets are blue whats the opposite of skiny again cause i think that's you

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Where's my shotgun

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How do you kill somebody instantly? Make them smell Smelly mcD's socks.

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Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

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A traveler gets a flat tire on an old farm road. He goes to the door of the neasrest farm and knocks. The farmer and his beautiful 21 year old daughter answer the door. Traveler: "I'm sorry, but I have a flat. Is there any place I can stay until I get it repaired?" Farmer: "Why yes. Our church sponsors a homeless shelter and rehab center down the road.I can give you a ride there if you like?"

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A man sees his friend and asks jokingly, "Hey is that ketchup or blood on your face?" The friend replies, "No, I ate your family," and shoots the man in the head with a rifle.

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A man walked into a bar, he was extremely short sighted, after this occurence he decided to phone up the opticians to get some glasses.

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A guy is walking on the beach one day when he stubs his toe on something shiny. Digging in the sand he finds an old, tarnished lamp. He takes it home and liberally applies polish, then puts it on his mantlepiece, it completes the look he was going for in his room and he feels like all his wishes have come true. His wife dies in a car accident later that day.

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Jay Leno: The economy is so bad.. Audience: how bad is it?! Jay Leno: Very bad.

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Why is America such a great place to live? It's not North Korea.

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A man walks into a bar. He hit his head so hard that he went into a coma.

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i eat poop

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Why do Christians believe in God? Because he is real.

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Why can't I believe it's not butter? Because it is butter.

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Why did everyone call the one-legged man Matt? Because that was his name.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the voices told him to...

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A Blonde, a Brunette, and a Red head were on a plane. They never met, and went their separate ways.

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What did the child who tried to hang himself, but wasn't heavy enough to achieve breaking his neck do? Died slowly.

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shirt and blue, i call this one snow white, to score and seven years a jo, six samurai kageki, coral, 50 piece, specific frame, whats with that one, amy, hoption, smell my butt, smell my balls, smell my fart, smell my poop, urgay, one swipe, maestrostalfos, imdesiringyourhair, i call this one the cinderella story if you HAAAAAAAAAA know what i mean, paul are you ok?

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how do you kill a zombie? Zombies arent real.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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