why did the chicken cross the road?? to go shopping for some aspirin because one of his children recently developed a raging headache and it was only logical for him to go to the pharmacy that was conveniantly placed across the road.

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What's the difference between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a lamborghini in my garage.

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a little girl is playing outside of her house when i man in a van approaches her and stops to ask if the girl will help him find his puppy and that he has some gandy. seeing as the girl has a great love for animals she gets in the van. the man and the little girl drive around until they find the puppy. the man is so overjoyed her rewards the girl with candy. he then drives her back to her house and she feels wonderful having helped the man find his puppy. the end.

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A man is driving home from work. he realizes he left his suitcase back at the office. he turns around and drives back to the office. he walks in the office and grabs his suitcase, and as he's walking out he's stopped by his boss. his boss simply asks "what are you doing in the office at this time, Eric?" the man replies to his boss " sorry sir i was just grabbing my suitcase as i forgot to bring it as i was leaving work" his boss lets him pass " okay Eric, have a good night" the man get back in his car and drives home. but on his way home a pedestrian runs in front of the road. the man runs him over unintentionly. the man is jailed with manslaughter for 4 and a half years

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Why was the black man pulled over? He was going 10 miles over the speed limit.

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When I see Debra walking her dog in the morning I often ask myself whose walking who!?

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why is 4 afraid of 5? Because Monkey's eat purple pineapples

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Have you heard the story of the empty room? Theres nothing in it.

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A man was building a new kitchen for his wife. Just as he was installing the sink, his wife comes running into the kitchen and starts cursing. "What's the matter?" he asks. "Don't you like the new sink?" His wife replies, "I love it. But come quick, there's a spider in the living room!" The man walks over with a paper towel, grabs the spider, and throws it into the garbage. The wife looks at the husband, smiling, and says, "Thanks."

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How do you get a giraffe in a fridge? Open the Door, put the giraffe in, close the door How do you get an elephant in a fridge Open the door, take the giraffe out, put the elephant in, close the door There is an animal meeting, one animal doesn't show up. Which animal didn't come? The Elephant, it's still in the fridge You come across a crocodile infested river, how do you get across? You swim across, the crocodiles are at the meeting, Weren't you listening?

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What did the kid say when you gave him a cookie? Thank you.

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what is the differents between a baby and a watermelon one is fun to hit the other is just a watermelon

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What happened to the adventurer ? He took an arrow to the knee and became a guard.

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What is Bigfoots favorite food? Biscuits and Gravy.

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Whats brown and smells like shit? Shit.

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Why did the girl hang herself? She was constantly bullied in school and on the internet.

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why did santa fall of the roof? Because the roof was slippery from the ice.

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What's brown and sticky? Poo

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whats orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot

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What's big white and cant climb a tree? A refrigerator.

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What's small, yellow and great with numbers? A yellow calculator

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Why did the kid get athsma? Genetics.

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Yo momma is so ugly, she might not win the "America's next top model" contest.

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Your mom is so dumb, she has difficulty acquiring a job to support her family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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