Knock, Knock... Who's there An abandoned baby

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A blonde read the newspaper the other day and she saw "Sarah Piplin-laid by 5000 men" She reported it to the owner of the company as I felt it was not appropriate for a family newspaper. The person at the other end of the line asked the blonde, "are you blonde?" "Yes, how do you know?" she replied. "Because it says Sahara Pipeline, you idiot!"

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DOWN

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Q: why did the little girl cry on Christmas? A: because she got a dead cat.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because SEVEN-FIVE!!!

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whats pale and white your ass.

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If I lock you in a room and let a snake in under the door, what do you get? A problem.

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What does a girl get from a dead MAN:)?? Nothing he is dead.

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What did one gorilla say to the other? Urgh.

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why did stacey marry bally because she loves him

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Q: What's the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? A: You can't wear cleats on a trampoline.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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why do girls like 77? ................ ...................... ................. ...................... ................ becuz they get 8 more :P

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i would like to know if the rumors about the moon being made out of chees is true because nobody told me it was CC

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knock knock whos there a duck a duck who QUACK!

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If I was black, I wouldn't be white.

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where do you get virgin wool from? ugly sheep.

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Why did the Jew cross the road? He was hungry and there was a McDonalds on the other side of the street.

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What do you call a orange striped zebra? No not a tiger stupid its a orange striped zebra duh!

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If you asked an alzheimer's patient what the meaning of life is, what answer would you get? Probably an answer that doesn't respond to the question but is bound to be hilarious.

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Q: What's worse than burning your tongue on hot chocolate. A: Getting shanked by a homeless man

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Why can't stars marry? Because they are masses of incandescent gas and thus have no feelings.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The holocaust.

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Knock knock Who's there? Osama Bin Laden

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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