There once was a man from Nantucket. He said it was a great place to retire.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was thrown out of the way

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viki has 10 penises around her she eats 8 of them what does viki have? viki has AIDS

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Q: What came first, the chicken or the egg? A: The egg, dinosaurs reproduced long before chickens existed.

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What did the mail man say to the resident? I have your mail. Now let's f*ck.

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Three men are walking on a beach when they find a lamp. They rub it, and a genie comes out. It tells them that they each get one wish, and to choose wisely. They each decide to discuss what to wish for with their wives. Their wives take them to a local hospital, where they receive treatment for hallucinations.

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What do black people and apples have in common? Nothing.

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Sudden Infant Death Syndrome.

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I saw a man with a hungry look in his eye, like the kind you get from not eating for a while

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What did the deaf man say to the blind man? The deaf man spoke no identifiable words because he could not hear what he was saying. He mumbled a few phrases in jibberish, and the blind man continued looking for his favorite brand of Ramen Noodles at his local Harris Teeter.

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how do you get a clown off a swing??? hit him in the back with an ax!

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Waiter! What's this fly doing in my soup? He's not doing anything, sir. He's dead.

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What did the poor guy get for christmas? The homeless guy.

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What do a a pickle and a rabbit have in common? They are both green...except the rabbit

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Your dad is so dumb he tried to put M&M's in abc order

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What is worse than being blind? Having a brain tumour.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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Gestapo.

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How do you make a homeless man cry? you throw away his trash.

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How do you make a fat kid cry? You hold an onion up to their face.

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What did the black man buy at the fruit shop? Some bananas.

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How many women does it take to change a lightbulb? None, let the bitch cook in the dark.

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? One jew to screw in the light bulb.

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women leaving the kitchen

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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