What happened when Dave tried to break the record for most marshmallows in the mouth at once? He choked and died.

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What happens when Brittany Spears is hungry? She goes to taco bell for food

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What did the patient say when the doctor told him he had aids? "Oh my god. Are you sure?"

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Roses are red, violets are blue my name is clearance, and i have to poo

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Are you understanding any of this caboose? I think so, that guy is really a robot and you his boy friend so that makes you.................a gay robot. yes i am a gay robot. -_-

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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why did the small child drop his icecream? he was hit by a bus

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tim rafter died no one cared

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What's worse than getting a detention? Slavery...just kidding that was a good thing!

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A man is walking down the street when a woman asks "excuse me, have you got the time?" to which the man replies "Yes..yes i do" the woman thanks him, and continues with her time constricted shannigans.

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How many apples fit in a garbage bag? I actually don't know. I was asking you.

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How many dead babies can you fit into a bathtub? 17

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Why did the white girl have a black friend? Because she was very welcome to different races and wanted to learn about her culture.

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Whats White and sticky? Semen

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What did the man do when he saw the dog? Ran it over

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2 Jews walk into a bar. They have a couple drinks and call a cab to get home

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, i was dropped on my head as a baby, 978e456293&*(^$%ZYI467z57967454^&4543^%$54#%^*44jffdGHFYI

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9/11/2001

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A man orders 3,687 bricks. He gets 3,688 bricks delivered to him. He throws the extra brick in the air. Ok, so a man is smoking a cigar by a woman with a small poodle. They are both in a plane. The woman asks the man if he could get rid of the cigar because the smoke is making her dog turn green. The man refuses. In anger, she throws the cigar out of the window. The man gets angry and throws the poodle out the window. What lands in the poodles mouth when it's falling? The brick.

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you

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Nero, please pick up the phone, I wont ever do that, it was a mistake okay? Stop that, my sister wont ever! My mom whatever! But if you lie a finger on my sister, I will kill you, I am at the outside, which room are you at? Tell me you coward fucker! Tell me!

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Roses are red Violets are blue Today is your birthday So happy birthday

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Whats something thats red and swings A baby on a meat hook

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What starts with P and ends in O-R-N? Popcorn.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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