Knock Knock Who's there? It's the mailman delivering your weekly delivery

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas. A pool.

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what do you call a fish without eyes? a fshhhhh

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Knock Knock Who's There Gary Oh hi Gary, come in

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What's big and purple? Something that's big and purple

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"hey those pancakes look pretty good." "thats a cat steve."

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Drop a brick on her face.

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you know what hurts.... PAIN

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Kittens.

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What did a cat said to another cat? Nothing because cata dont talk.

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How many jews can you fit in a car? That depends on the volume of the car and the size of the people involved - different cars are of different sizes and can fit a different number of people. For instance, you could probably fit more than 20 midget jews in a van but you could probably not fit as many overweight jews in a coupé. However if you put some effort into getting as many standard sized people, in this case jews for reasons unknown, into a standard size sedan you should be able to fit about seven or eight in the car itself and one in the trunk, making a total of nine or ten.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs sitting on your couch? My brother.

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how many fish does it take to turn on a lightbulb None, lightbulbs dont work in the ocean

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Do you know what a deaf guy says to a blind guy? God told me you'll see your path.

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Knock knock (No one is home)

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Why are cemetaries gated? Typically, to prevent vandalism and the emotional trama it inflicts on the deceaseds' families.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

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sdrawkcab ekoj siht tleps I whether you like it or not

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why did bully fall of his bike He was eaten by a fridge

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Two goldfish are sat in a tank, one says to the other 'I forgot who you are' to which the other replies 'I forgot what you said'.

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Scientist 1: "What's your research paper about?" Scientist 2: "Homosexuality in fruit bats." Scientists 3, 4 & 5: "AHAHAHAHA LOL WUT"

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How can you tell if a Mexican's gay? Ask politely.

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josh roberts you speccy cuunt

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Why did the little boy cry? His entire family was shot and killed at his elementary school play.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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