A blonde, the pope, and a young kid are in a crashing airplane and there's only one parachute. But by the time any of them equips it, the plane hits the ground and they all die.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing because muffins can't talk. The other muffin replied, 'What an odd conversation starter!'

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Norm Macdonald's roast of Bob Saget.

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why was the girl in the corner with a knife? she's an emo

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What's funnier than Man on Woman domestic abuse? Nothing.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple. What's worse than that? Dying. What's worse than dying? Finding three worms in your apple.

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A businessman notices an attractive woman sitting at the end of the bar so he buys her a drink. She kindly accepts and spends a few minutes making pleasant conversation with him. When she's finished with her drink, she promptly begins to flirt with another man at the bar who's not twenty years older than her and horribly out of shape. The middle-aged businessman, realizing his own mortality, proceeds to spend the rest of the evening drinking himself into vortex of loneliness.

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Bill is at a bar with a couple of his college buddies. He notices another one of his friends, Jim, who has his back faced to him, and calls him. The man turns and it is not Jim. Bill apologizes and they carry on with their lives.

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Why was Sally a bad driver? Because she rarely signals and never checked her blind spots.

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Paddy and Murphy are walking down the street, Paddy says to Murphy, "Alright Murphy? How's the kids?" Murphy says to Paddy, "Not bad, thanks."

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Why was Johnny crying? Because... Because... Because... Because... Because... Because of the wonderful things he does.

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What's blue and smells like yellow paint? Blue paint.

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snooki from jersey shore walks into a bar and gets arrested.

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What do you do if you are locked inside a car with a baseball bat? Unlock the car

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What did the Ethiopian get for christmas? Hepatitis B.

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weiner? balls

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Why did the mother have an abortion? Because she thought it would best financially for her current family.

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Your Mother is so pretty that she does not need make-up.

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antijokes

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Whats funnier than 24? 25

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hey i just meet you and this is crazy but i picked out our wedding cake and named our 4 future children :-)))))))

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What's the difference between a ferrari and a sack of babies? I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

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What is worse than getting a paper cut? Your whole family dying to MERS in Peru before you were old enough to remember any of them.

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Roses are red Vilots are blue God made people pretty What the happend to you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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