Knock Knock Who's there? The police, your wife just died

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What did the teacher say to the other teacher? We are both teachers

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A man is walking down the street and sees a women sat on the pavement crying, he walks over to her and asks "what's wrong?" to which the women replies "it doesn't matter" the women then walks away as she did not want to share personal information with a stranger.

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Why was the little boy crying? His whole family died.

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What's blue and smells like pee? Pee, I lied about the color

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Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

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Why did the monkey eat his own poop? Because there was minimal resources where he was so he resorted to eat his own fecal matter

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Roses are green Violets are yellow Those are the wrong colors oh well who gives a shit.

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What do you call a muslim? A terrorist

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How do you make a plumber cry? Make his family cry!!!!!!!!!

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Why was six afraid of seven? It wasn't. Numbers have no feelings.

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Hey, do you want to play the r.a.p.e game ? NO! That's the spirit

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What's worst then lose 100$ Lose 101$

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What's room temperature and tastes like ice cream? Melted ice cream

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A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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Whats worse than getting in a 30 MPH car accident? Getting in a 40 MPH car accident.

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What did the deaf man say to the blind man? The deaf man spoke no identifiable words because he could not hear what he was saying. He mumbled a few phrases in jibberish, and the blind man continued looking for his favorite brand of Ramen Noodles at his local Harris Teeter.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? The Pilot.

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Two men walk into a bar, the third one ducks.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Nothing...he found it.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the chicken fall off the tree? It was stapled to the monkey.

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wHY DID WILLIAM CHEUNG LICK THE BERILLIAM FUNG, BECause it was fun!

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What did the mother say to her baby? These little piggies taste good!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Blonds are cute and so are u.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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