What did the fish say when it hit the wall? "Dam."

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Why did the Vietnemese prostitute ask for the phone? Because she wanted to use the phone.

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Whats worse than ten babies in one bin? One baby in ten bins.

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What ticks like a clock and has numbers on it? A clock.

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co jo kurwa tocza?

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Two strangers are sitting at a bar having a drink. One is a young, fat, red-headed guy named Fred. The other is an elderly grey-haired man. After a while, Fred turns to the old man and awkwardly asks: "Excuse me sir would ya' mind givin me some advice? There's this girl who has sat next to me on the bus every morning for the past three months. She's the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She always smiles and winks at me. I wannna ask her on a date but every time I go to do it I freeze. I just don't know what to say. I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm falling for this girl and I don't know what in the world to do. Any tips?" The old man continues to sit quietly, slowly sipping his drink. After a while the old man looks at Fred. "Hmmm" says the old man, as he thinks over Fred's question. "What is your name son?" He asks Fred. "It's Fred sir," replies Fred. "Hmmm," the old man says again as he continues to think over Fred's question. The old man then stands up, takes out a gun, and shoots Fred in the face. Fred never saw it coming.

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Knock Knock Come in

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what do you call a shoe with legs? roadrunners.

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Whats big, ugly, and sucks? Death.

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Why can't I believe it's not butter? Because it is butter.

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What is worse than peeling a orange that is chasing a dog with raining men? Meeting johnny appleseed

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Wats a joke?

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How do you stop a plane? Throw flying birds at it.

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This is not a good joke.

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What's the difference between your wife and a female dog? none - they are both bitches!

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What's worse than getting a detention? Slavery...just kidding that was a good thing!

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What is brown and sticky? A Stick

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An illegal Mexican immargrant was deported for the selling an use of marijuana. the sad part is this happens everyday

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Wanna hear a funny story? Sure. Ok.

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A man walks into a bar. Realizing that he left his keys in his car, he called a locksmith to unlock the doors. He did not have money to pay this locksmith and was put in prison for his large sums of debt. He was shanked by a fellow inmate and died a few days later in the prison's hospital ward.

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Why do black people eat at KFC? Because KFC serves good food at reasonable prices.

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Why couldn't sally drive her car? Because sally is a girl.

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They give psychiatric patients acting classes in order for them to express and as such heal themselves? Excuse me fucktard! A guy that has deluded himself into believing he is the 11.356th Napoleon does not require further acting classes!

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9/11/2001

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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