How do you make a Fireman cry? You kill his family in a fire.

Why didn't the man show up for work on Monday? He gets Mondays off.

Why did Hitler smell the flower? Chicken dick.

What is wrong with racism? A lot of things.

Q. How do you make an atheist appreciate life? A. Break his legs.

Why did the archaeologist bury his brother? Because he was dead.

Ben is gay

q: whats fat hairy and always eats mcdonalds a playboy model i lied about everything

what is patrick wilson? smart

come along children

whats the difference between a dog and a cat? ones a dog.

How many pumpkins can you fit in a watch? Depends how much jelly is in the pumpkins

A few black men walk into a bank... They all open seperate savings accounts and add a portion of that week's pay to put forward money to pay for their children's college education.

Why did the first koala fall out of the tree? because it was dead. Why the second koala fall out of the tree? because it was hit by the first koala. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? because it thought it was a game.

i have 2 penises

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Thousands upon thousands upon thousands of dying infants.

What do you call a douche with no arms or legs? A device for washing out the vagina as a contraceptive measure.

How do you wake Lady Gaga up? Poker face

Why do you bury an Asian on the side of a hill? Because he's dead.

Kate

How do you get a baby to stop crying You kill it

what is poop in pee? bagel thins? tuesday.

Pickle!

go go gadget

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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