What did the customer say to the waiter when he found a fly in his soup? Sorry to bother you on your break, but why didn't I get a fly in MY soup?

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Why did the blond cross the road? She needed to get to the shop as she'd run out of milk.

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Why aren't there Olympics in Mexico? Idk Because everyone that can run jump or swim are already across the boarder.

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A man walks into a bar with a frown on his face His dog just died

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What do you call an alligator in a circus? Testicular Cancer.

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One day 2 people were gonna fight after school and the final bell wrung then they started the mtch and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing that you say when you don't want to fight and ypu let the other person win?" The other guy says, "I give up?" Then the challenger says, " I WIN!!!"

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What is sad and disappointing? Nevada's and California's snow pack.

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Why did the clown's ballon animal pop? He was a victim in a drive by shooting.

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Robin get in the batmobile!

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In Soviet Russia, this type of joke would be considered evidence to throw you into the gulag.

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How babies can you fit in a car seat? 1

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How did the fat man die? He was fed porrage until he died. Who killed the fat man? Leonardo DaVici How did Leonardo Da Vinci die? Natural causes (Actually I have no idea how Leonardo Da Vici died but if I am wrong please correct me) Thank You for your coperation.

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How many cows does it take to swim on land? 4.2

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What did the man say to the cat? I thought you were fake.

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Q: What is every blonde's ambition? A: To be like Vanna White and learn the alphabet.

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Why can cats jump so high? Cats leg muscles are different then ours. They work kind of like springs that build up energy and then release suddenly. Its kind of like a budgie cord. This gives them the ability to jump so high. If humans were built the same way, they could easily jump up on a one-story roof.

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Some potential names for Justin Beiber's next album: Headache Wailing and Screaming Eardrum Rapist Anger Half Price Indescribable Out of Print April Fools The Sounds of Hell Torture Ear Basher

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What's worse than getting no presents for Christmas? Ass-rape!

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Why was King Triton mad at Ariel? Her grades were under the C.

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A horse walks into the bar and says "why the long face?" The bartender replies "hey! I was supposed to say that!"

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What do you call a Jew with 20 Pounds of Pennies? A rich man

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What's blue and looks like water? Yes.

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What is the one thing you can never steal back? Your viginity.

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a dog walks into a bar....it sees the horse and starts barking which ever dentally startles and confuses the horse resulting in tables and chairs being knocked over .

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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