What happened when the man fell off the boat? He went into the water and was viciously mauled by 5 alligators then ran over by another boat.

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What kind of movies do pirates like? They don't know, Somalia doesn't have much of a film industry.

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How many cows does it take to swim on land? 4.2

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What is worse than getting hit by a car? Getting hit by a truck

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why did the feminist cross the road? to suck a dick

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Whats the difference between a baby in a comma and an iPod? I actually use the baby.

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I'm sorry but your child seems to have fractured his spinal column and can no longer control any part of his body below his neck.

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What's black and runs fast? Newsflash: Most of you are racist.

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What did the cricket say to the fox? Cricket.

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What is a hammer? It's not a screwdriver

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How do you get a person to jump off a cliff? You push them.

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How do you make an egg laugh? That is an irrational question eggs are inanimate object and are unable to laugh

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How did the Mexican get across the boarder? He applied for a student visa. He was a promising young scholar who had no trouble being accepted to a prestigious college.

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why is lady gaga so famous? because she has a penis.

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What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall?? A: It depends on how hard you throw them!!

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What do you call a man who's being followed by 18 black guys? Dave, he's going to work and is stuck in traffic

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Why did the midget cross the road? He needed to buy a ladder

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Knock knock Who's there? Barack obama

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When life gives you lemons squeeze them at people then run away.

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What did the girl say before she jumped a bridge? "Do you think I can jump off this bridge?"

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What is a 3 legged dog? It's still a dog! Sheesh

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How do you confuse an English Professor? Light your pants on fire and flop around like a fish.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops