What did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware River? "Men, we're crossing the Delaware River."

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Why did the cow hail a taxi? Because cows can't drive.

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why did the boat sink the captain drove it into a pile of sharp rocks

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KNOCK KNOCK whos there Malcom i dont know any Malcom go away!

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What did Steven Hawking get for christmas? A bike.

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Why did grandma drop the dish? She had a heart attack and died, falling to the ground and thus bringing the plate with her to the floor.

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Whats worse the losing your 3 kids, your lovely beautiful wife, and your trusty dog, all your belongings and in a house fire while you're at work? Nothing

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Why did the jew put a parking meter on his roof.? ....So santa would have to pay to park.

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How did the old man die? His family locked him in the basement and then burned the house

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What's orange and fluffy? Orange Fluff

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I have a little dog. She likes being tossed high into the air. I need a new little dog as the last one was caught by a gust carrying here over the sound-dividing highway wall and dropped into traffic.

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knock knock? who's there Dave Come on in!!!!!

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What's black and hangs from a tree? A tire swing.

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How could Jamie not come out and play? His mum had cancer

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An asian man walks into a bar and lights a cigarette. He is politely asked to leave due to smoking being prohibited indoors.

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Your moma so ugly she should go see a plastic surgeon.

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Whats the difference between a soccer ball and a baby? Babies cry when I kick them.

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A duck walks into a convenience store and asks for a tube of chapstick.He says "Put it on my tab".

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Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? Because it could see and hear.

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Stalin and Hitler went to Kmart to buy mini-toothpaste. Because they schleifen schlafanned on their way to the country club.

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What happened When The lion asked the dog of a soda can? The giraffe who is taller the lion or the whos the fastest?

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Why did the lion get lost? Because the jungle is massive

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What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

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What kind of movies do pirates like? They don't know, Somalia doesn't have much of a film industry.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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