Knock Knock. Who's there? The police, your entire family died in a car accident. ... ... The police, your entire family died in a car accident who?

2 men walk into a bar, the 3rd man ducks and ask them if they're ok

There was a little boy (Jewish edition) Saten: Look father, my silk vestments make me look so much more fabulous than you! Gad: Oh! Hawt sweetie! But not as pretty as my dress... Err I mean "silks"... Anyway you are no longer my son! Which means we can do you know what ;) Saten: Hmpf! I am feel disappoint in of your dress! Gad: ITS SILKS! just *basically* a dress... Oh my gawd! You refuse to give it to your "daddy" ;) You are losar ant not gonna get to hang around this club anymore! Saten: OMFG you are so enrage! You are liek not classy or flamboyant at all anymore, sorry pimp "daddy" :/ Imma leavin! And btw Adam my secret lover has such a bigger wienersnitzel anyways, and he is totally eating my fruits if you know what I mean ;) Gad: Oh me so jelez I am completelay going to panish him! I am throwing him out of Paradise and he will only be abley to get children with women now, lulz I am liek so evel. Saten: OMG WEMEN! UR LIEK ZO EVEL! What u goin to do next huh? Forbid Sodomy? Omg tat would be so mean :(... Moral: "NEVER WEAR A FINER SILKS THAN GAD!"...Well, it starts with two flamboyant faggots fighting over who has the "prettiest silk vestments" (basically dresses)... The rest kinda kinda figures.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who are we kidding, when have you ever seen a chicken crossing a road?

womens rights.

Roses are red, and many other colors too.

Knock Knock, Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? Knock Knock...

Yo momma, she so fat, she needs to buy extra-large clothes.

Knock Knock. You don't have a door.

Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because its owner was neglecting him and the kitten later died of malnurisment

A little boy walks into a bar its fine, he's over 21, he just looks younger.

Do you know what the forest fire got for Christmas? Your house

Roses are red, Wait. Why start this poem when you cant finish it Refrigerator

why don't bears wear shoes? because they have bear feet

Yes

Why did the bear turn red? Because I fucking stabbed it!

Why was the girl angry? She's PMSing. Give her a banana and stay away.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It had gotten out of its coop.

What did the Jewish girl do when I asked for her number? Roll up her sleeve...

What's worse than stapling a baby to a tree? Stapling the same baby to ten trees.

What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter what you call him he isn't coming anyway!!!!

What did the father say to his son, who incidently shot his brother while they were playing with a gun home alone? "It happens." He then hung himself.

An African-American is working on math problems and notices an Asian man walking by. The African American asked,"Could you help me out on these math problems?" The Asian man replied, " I have never been good at math."

Hey I just met you and this is crazy but here's my chew toy throw it maybe!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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