Q. What do you get if you cross a suspicious person with a paranoid person? A. Who wants to know

jess always squints her eyes when making a point

Whats white, fat, and looks like a horse? An albino horse who apparently has a high chance of diabetes.

Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? No? Well he graduated in four years with a degree in chemical engineering. He worked hard all four years in order to keep his scholarship to the university. Now he leads a very successful life and lives in a large house with his wife and two children.

what comes in a can ? Beans Where do beans come from ? Cans

KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called antee joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was the only way to get across

What's worse than failing a school test for Peter? Nothing, because he is asian.

It's okay we all love you, except me, and everyone else.

why did nick kiss esther because he cheated

Who is that? That is my daughter, She likes climbing trees.

A girl said to her boyfriend, "you take my breath away." The boy said, "that isn't possible" and they proceeded to have sex.

Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

Why is Stevie Wonder called Stevie Wonder? Wonder where I am.

Before you insult a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you insult him, you'll be a mile away, and have his shoes.

What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

Confucius says, I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.

Donald Trump

What about the cool kids down the block. Their friend just died with a serious health condition.

why did the family get sick?? because i fucked a girl with a parsnip then sold the parsnip to a family with 4 small children

What scares little children and befriends their parents? A clown

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his monthly car bill is too freaking high and can't afford to take car to work, where all of his co- workers are waiting to tease him!

Far from, yet all organizations are money based and put capitalism in front of all, so if lets say, one organization, needs help from another, a money transaction is made, I play a role there, as a well... Diplomat, its not my title, but my title is something I cannot reveal to anyone, not even my wife, id be putting myself and people in danger, but since I master things such as hypnosis, I can well, influence people, this is how I can pull of favors myself. Not favors such as "kill that guy for me", but more like... In your case. "If you are going to kill the wizard, please let the rest be, I know they are good people"

Q:What do you call a black man that got to the moon and back in a space rocket? A: A golfer, he is a pro golfer now!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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