what did the history teacher say to his class? Get your books out.

If pro is the opposite of con what's the opposite of progress? Retrogression.

The Dalai Lama orders a slice of pizza for $2 and gives the cashier a $5 bill. He then realizes he hasn't been given any change, so he asks for his change. The cashier quickly apologizes and hands the Dalai Lama three dollar bills.

how do u get the baby to stop choking? take ur dick out of its mouth!!!

Fat? Jesse Z

what's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? when you slap a mosquito it stops sucking:)

Chuck Norris doesnt eat honey, hes allergic to it.

Why did the buetiful woman marry the homeless man? True love

Why are Asians yellow? Because that is their natural skin color

Why was the girl crying? She prolapsed.

Roses are reds, Viloets are blue, Thank God I'm a christian, And not a jew.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimers, Cheese in toast,

what looks like a bananna but is blue a blue bananna

How long does it take for light to travel a light-year ? A year.

What is colored and looks good hanging from trees? Oranges. Get your mind out of the gutter!

womens rights

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your penis.

why did the blue berry cross the road

who would win in a gang battle? WEST COAST SWAG

How many rats does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. But they have to be really small.

gingers

Why couldn't the teenage pirate get into the movie? Because he lacked the required money for the ticket.

Bugs dance, so do ants, Oh my glob it’s Adventure Time!

What did the black guy do in the hood? walked down the street, bought the paper and watched Letterman.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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