Asked by the court barber how he wanted his hair cut, the king replied: ‘In silence.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Max

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Knock knock! Who's there? Bob Hi bob, come inside. And next time just use the doorbell

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What did one penguin-necrophiliac say to another penguin-necrophiliac? Nothing. Penguins cant talk.

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Once there was an ugly barnical, He was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

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i like my woman how i like my coffe... without d i c k s

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Why did the bus drop his icecream? He was hit by a boy

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Why don't sharks attack lawyers? Professional Courtesy

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If there's something strange in your neighborhood. Who ya gonna call? The Police.

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How does a woman scare a gynecologist? By pulling human entrails out of her purse when he asks her to provide insurance.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Meow.

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Poop

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what do you call a black drug dealer? A pharmacist.

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Why was 9/11 funny? It wasnt; amny people died.

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Roses are red Violets are blue If you are reading this Then it must be deja vu

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The grass is always greener on the other side.

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A man was struck by lightning. What did you think he got super powers or something? No. He died a horrible death

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What's the difference between a pheromone and a hormone? Hormones are secreted internally and trigger various biochemical pathways that cause certain effects. We all are familiar with the effects of testosterone and estrogen, both on the anatomy, and behaviour of humans. Pheromones are secreted externally, and have an effect on another creature in similar ways. Usually they have to do with attracting sexual partners or changing a sex partners behaviour or body in some way.

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What did the golfer do when he hit a shot with a lot of pressure on him into the water? He dropped another ball and continued on, for golf is a civilized game and bad manners are prohibited.

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What's more greasy than grease? Kevin's hair

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Why couldn't the blond get into the library? Because the library was closed therefore the door was locked.

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Why did the little girl cry? Because she saw her future.

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What's Green and has Wheels? Ian Leighton... I LIED ABOUT THE GREEN

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what do you call obama a dumbass

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops