Why did the boy fail his maths test? He had no eyes due to a vicious bear attack earlier that year so couldn't read the questions or study from books resulting in him not being able to complete the task he was given.

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What is green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? An elephant I lied!

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What kind of movies do pirates like? They don't know, Somalia doesn't have much of a film industry.

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What do you call black people in a pool? Healthy

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Your mothers so ugly that when memory sees her it says " Damn-it I hate my job!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it was thrown

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a man was cooking a tortilla. what did he say when he dropped it while flipping the tortilla? oops i dropped my tortilla

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If u give brandon a stick he will most likely poke u

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Roses are red,violets are blue, i love the colour red and green but its a pitty because im not so keen.

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knock knock who's there? banana well that's an odd name. banana then began to break down in tears because his parents were constant drug abusers and gave him that name while they were high

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A wise man once told me that friends are like cookies. He was a cannibal.

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Why are leprechauns so happy? The grass tickles their balls

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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What do call the time things don't go the way you plan them? Reality. bitch

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I'd rather kill myself than commit suicide.

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An Aussie, American and Englishman were all drinking beer on a plane to Hawaii. All 3 of them were very excited for their vaction, which they all saved hard for and their breaks from work were well deserved.

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Why did the tomato fall off the swing? Because tomatoes don't have arms.

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A man walks into a bar with a frown. The bartender asks, "Why are you sad." "My wife got brutally raped then shot last night."

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A black and a white walk into a bar, d.r. King would be proud.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? I shot him in the face.

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"I see" said the blind man to the deaf man... On the phone

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Q: What do you call a pair of dead babies lying on the ground? A: Slippers

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yo Dawg I heard you like dogs... So I sent yo ass to prison and got an NFL contract

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible to try out for his school's football team. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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