A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did Emily sit in a lonely corner? Because she just wanted to okay!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Knock Knock Who's There? It's Me. Oh, OK. Come On In.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

You come home and find your family dead. What do you do? Take a picture, post it on facebook

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How does a Chinese person wear a contact lens? On a 45 degree angle

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How many Anne Franks does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, cause she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

So a boy walks into a bar. He broke his arm and now is severly crippled

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What happened when the high school student had intercourse with his history teacher? orgasmic noises.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven is a serial rapist and has been harrassing six for months.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

There once was a girl who took away my source of entertainment. Her name was Nicole.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the naked blonde crossed the road? Because she a man

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? None. They just beat it for being black.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why is the man's nose bleeding? Because I punched him in the nose. He looked at me funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: What can a black man do that a llama can't? A: Walk

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did grandma get little Benjamin for Christmas? Nothing, she died last year

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I got pussies, cocks, asses and bitches. In my animal store.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q. Which famous celebrity has had the most children over the last 10 years? A. Michael Jackson

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How many fingers am i holding up? none, my hand got blown off in Vietnam

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What is the difference between a trampoline and a baby? You take your boots of before jumping on the trampoline!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What is the difference between Julis Ceaser, and the moon? The moon is covered in rocks and craters, and Julis Ceaser is DEAD

thumb_up thumb_down +1

This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from a young age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a couple cartons of Ribena and his lucky medal and took his first step outside. He took out a carton of Ribena, strongly crumpled it up, slightly spraying fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and shouted, "Nothing will stop me!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in a high security prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse and paedophillia. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do a reindeer and a grape have in common? They are both purple, except for the reindeer.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What is up, the color blue and has a face? the sky. there is no face.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops