Your mumma's so fat she is fat

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Ask me if I'm an orange? Are you an orange? No.

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What do you call a moose with a 42 gauge shotgun pellet through its head? Open Season

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why did sarah have to do overtime at work? because i set her house on fire

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What did the home-less man eat for dinner last night? Nothing.

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A Nazi walks into a bar. No one really knows he's a Nazi and he doesn't talk about it that much in public, so he chats to some people then leaves after a few beers...

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? This joke.

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how many jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? one................ standing on a pile of dead babies.

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A deaf man sits down puts on his headphones presses play on his ipod starts to nod his head and realises what he has just done

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You know what I am gonna come up with that could potentially make me millions of dollars? An idea that could potentially make me millions of dollars.

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Q. Why did the fence break? A. Too many mexicans were climbing it.

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knock knock who's their panda panda who shut up I never said yo name and don't call me black

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"Knock, Knock." "Who's There?" "Banana."

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Jehovah's Witness. Have you heard the word of God?

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Why the USA support the 'Kony 2012'? For Oil

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Chris Brown walks into a bar. And then is politely asked to leave as the bar owner also happens to be the spokesperson for an anti-domestic violence group.

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Knock Knock. To get to the other side.

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Why do women go to the bathroom together? To clean their filthy pussies.

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Why did The Chicken cross The Road? The Chicken was a new drug dealer to town and he did a deal with The Road , the town's existing drug dealer (they used these nicknames to hide their identities), but then back stabbed him to try and take the whole area for himself. Money and Power, as always.

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A man walks into a bar, He is a severe alcoholic and is slowly drowning himself in booze. The man exits the bar after several hours of heavy drinking and walks home. He enters his home to discover a man in bed with his wife. After the first ten seconds of paralyzing rage, he grabs a .44 Magnum and brutally murders his wife and her bed mate. The man realizes he has woken up his two month old, and after thinking of the horrible act he has committed, he promptly raises the pistol to his temple and pulls the trigger. Oh, I almost forgot, the man was schizophrenic and has never been married.

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What do you get when a man farts then a giraffe digests the gas and then poops into the mouth of a rabid baby raccoon? A raisin coated in corn flakes with digestive fluid sauce.

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A man goes into a butcher shop and says, "I bet you 350 euro that you can't reach that bit of meat," indicating a cut of beef hanging above him. The butcher looks up and says, "No way." The man says, "Why not?" And the butcher answers, "I have a huge gambling addiction, after losing my family to it, this job is all I have left" The man leaves, ruing the silly bet he had placed.

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What did the orange say to the lemon? We are both alike but a differnt color

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What do you get when you cross an Indian and a duck? An Indian duck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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