What did the farmer say to the other farmer? "Uh... So, you're a farmer?"

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why did the black child cry? strange men cut his penis off

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How do you kill a blonde? Kick her off a cliff.

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Why did Hayden Bryant walk down the street? Because he can, dont doubt Hayden Bryant.

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guess what what ...

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Q:How do you kill Chuck Norris ? A:You don't , He kills you first.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The Police. She told me she was nineteen.

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I have a friend named Jay . But for short , he likes to be called J .

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Why did little Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms knock knock who's there? Not little Suzie.

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What do you call a man with a shovel in his head? An ambulance.

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? She had no arms

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Relizing its a used tampon covered with blood.

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What direction do 5 gay guys walk? I am unable to answer that because they are all aspiring to work in different occupational fields.

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An Irishman and his sheep are locked in a barn together for 3 days. On the 3rd day his wife finally notices that he is gone, and comes looking in the barn for her husband. She liberates him, cooks him dinner, and they both laugh at the bestiality that occurred in the barn. 3 days is indeed a long time for anyone to endure.

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Why did the airplane crash? The pilot had a stroke.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Answer: because he had no guts

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender asks what he'd like. The man says something funny, but you kinda had to be there.

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the mean terrorist said "i am going to kill your mother" that mother is now dead

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Why does an ostrich have such a long neck? Because its head is so far from its body.

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Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub. The first one says, "Pass the soap." "No soap, radio," replies the second one. "Oh, you want me to turn on the shower radio?" "Yeah, it's too quiet in here. I could use some tunes." The first polar bear turns on the radio. "Now pass me the soap, please," he says. The second bear passes him the soap, he washes his face and neck, and then they both get out and towel off. The second bear switches off the radio before they leave the bathroom.

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Who more attractive then you? No one your ugly as pooh.

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hey whats your name Im gonna hit you so hard........ that im gonna knock your block off

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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Bill: My brother died on 9/11 Steve: Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. Was he in one of the towers? Bill: Both. Steve: Both? Bill: Well, he was in the first tower when the first plane hit, so he ran over warn everybody in the second tower. While he was in the second tower, he died of AIDS. Steve: LOL! Bill: Quit your laughing, Steve, and make sweet, sweet love to me! Steve: It would be my pleasure! (While Bill and Steve made sweet, sweet love on a park bench, little did they know that a hundred miles away in a beautiful Los Angeles home, actor Jeff Goldblum was making himself a turkey sandwich with extra mayonnaise)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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