A panhandler came up to me today and said he hadn't had a bite in weeks, so I gave him some change.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the tomato fall off the swing? Because tomatoes don't have arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I've got some good news an some bad news. The good new is that you just won 10 million dollars! The bad news is I'm just kidding.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I'm on the Seafood Diet. I eat seafood to replace fatty red meats, in conjunction with fruit and vegetables.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Honey, it really is such a tragedy that my sense of sight doesn't function properly. I've missed out on many beautiful things in my lifetime.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Calling your penis a chose because it's small and fat.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Small Penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How many children does it take to kill a homocidal killer? None. Children should not attempt such a dangerous task.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

I went to the opticians to get my eyes checked. The optician said "you need glasses".

thumb_up thumb_down -1

wormly wormly sat on the worm theworm said wormly and went to warmly

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him what he would like. The man says,"I'm feeling light today so I'll just have some H2O." The man's friend says,"I'm feeling the same. I'll have some H2O, too." The second man died.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the barber say to Chewbacca? DAAAAAAYYYYUUUUMMMM!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapeled to the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's worse than losing the remote? A steamroller going backwards on the highway.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the black guy punch the white guy? They were both professional boxers.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

If your Uncle Jack helped you off an elephant, would you help your Uncle jackoff an elephant? Probably not because it would take more than 3 hands to jack off an elephant P.S. Your Uncle Jack only has 1 hand. Your uncle was on a swing and a clown cut off his hand with an ax

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the man give money to the Jew? Why would a man give money to a Jew?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the man walk into the bar Because he was an acoholic

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man walks into a bar. He is then taken to the hospital for his concussion, seeing as the bar was made of metal

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. They order a few drinks, chat, and walk out.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

If quizzes are quizical, what are tests? Testicals

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What happened to the boy that got raped? He later died of depression

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why was the boy afraid? Because he had just seen his dog get ran over by a tractor

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops