Why dose my mom have a penis? She is a man

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Nineteen terrorists walk into three airports. Several hours later, thousands of people are dead sending the world into a state of emergency that subsequently changed how we live our current lives under the constant threat of both government oppression and extremist terrorism.

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Whats old and has been alone for years. Your dead nan

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why was the boy mad? He had a lot of homework that evening

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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A large commercial airliner is piloted toward inner-city New York. The plane is driven into the World Trade Center by a terrorist. The United States will now issue a holiday to mourn all we have lost in this tragic event.

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What did Zeus say to Hades? Nothing. Both are mythological beings created by the Greek civilization to explain why many things in the world happened, mostly because of a lack of modern science.

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What do an elephant and a can of soup have in common? They both can't ride a bike

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The Walmart Scooterwhale (Terracetus obesitus) is the only member of the cetacean family to live in a terrestrial environment. Commonly found in large-scale grocery stores all across North America, it subsists mostly on fattening junk food, microwave popcorn, and beer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from the axe murderer. Did it work? No.

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i tell you whats funny......... what? a fat sudanese man

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Whats worse than getting a splinter? Taking a shower at penn state

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Whats red and hurts your teeth? A brick

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Why do midgets laugh when they run? Because the grass tickles there balls

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So there's a black man riding a bike down the street. A police officer pulls him over to tell him that his back tire seems to be flat. The black man says thank you, and continued riding his bike. Later, he would repair his tire.

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What is the difference between a Jew and a Muslim? Their religion.

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Why did old Dorris shit herself? Because Margaret fell over.

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These jokes don't have punchlines.

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What do you call a plane in shining armor? A knight flight.

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What did the mental patient say to the apple? She didn't say anything because she was a catatonic schizophrenic.

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knock knock who's there? a dog ......dogs cant talk ..................

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Why did the leaf fall of the tree? Because it was fall

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Roses are Brown Violets are Brown Whos been shitting on my garden??

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what's the easiest way to tell time? a clock

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops