Why couldn't Timmy enjoy his ice cream? His lips were sewn together by an evil seamstress who was mad that he stole all of her Pop-Tarts

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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What's sad about Justin bieber getting thrown off of a cliff Nothing

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There were two busses. The one was red, the other one went to France.

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Knock knock. Who's there? 9/11 9/11 who? You said you'd never forget!

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A blind man walks into a deaf woman. He tries to apologize but she can't hear him.

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A young boy asks his father if there will be cake at the party. The father tells him there won't be and tells him to f*ck off.

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Calling your penis a chose because it's small and fat.

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A squirrel asks an apple where is the nearest gas station. The apple doesn't reply.

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If Jonny has 300 pies and eats 299 pies what is left for Jonny? DIABETES

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Paddy Englishmen, Paddy Irishmen and Paddy Scotsman walk into a bar. They realise that they all share a common name and make a casual joke about it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get KFC... Because hes a canibal!

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Knock Knock Who's there? The KKK, got any blacks?

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Why are black people afraid of chainsaws? Because chainsaws are potentially dangerous weapons that may inflict bodily harm.

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My diick won't stop barking unless I take it for a walk, problem is, I can't find a leash big enough

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What did the jew do to his waiter? He explained how he had provided excellent service and left a very generous tip to applaud his efforts.

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What did hitler get for christmas??? Roughly 3 million dead jews in the ashtray

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What is worse than a nuke exploding? Going to the hospital and finding out you have cancer and aids.

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Why's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding a golden ticket

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Your uncle jack just helped you off a horse. Now it's your turn to help your uncle jack off a horse.

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What do you get when you cross a dog with an anteater? An animal unlikely to survive beyond infancy.

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Jesse gives his mom the stick for breakfast

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Why does a new mother have big jugs? Her baby died of Sudden infant death syndrome.

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A man walked in to a store and asked for four candles. The storeman brought some fork handles and placed them on the counter. The customer said "No... 'Four Candles' a rather amusing sketch performed by The Two Ronnies, a comedy double act in the 1970s."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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