Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pickles.

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Your mama so fat that when she cut herself gravey came out and we drank it too!

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What do skeet disks and Jewish babies have in common? Hitler used to shoot them out of the sky.

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Three people are stranded on an island. They didn't want to eat each other because they were friends. They died of starvation.

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mary poppins' handbag is full of fuckin dick

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Roses are red violets are blue. Yes.

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Why did two rhinos engage in vigorous sex? They were horny.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas many gift card to stores he liked

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

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Why did Rainey fall off the swing? She had no hair.

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roses are read, violets are blue. i have alzheimers and Jill came tumbling down.

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If i had a dollar for every time Lindsay Lohan Crashed a vehicle......i would be rich

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what do you call a clown in makeup? a clown, clowns are supposed to wear makeup.

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What did the astronaut say when he stepped on the moon? Oops, sorry.

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Why do leprechauns laugh when they run through the grass? Because it tickles their nuts.

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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Knock knock? Who's there? You have cancer.

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Why did the gay man not walk straight? Because I took a jack hammer to his foot

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The child was fired from his job.

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What Happens if a Muslim boy gives you a bomb? You give it to someone else as your playing tnt tag and the bombs a toy

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If a tree falls in the forest, but nothing is there to hear it, does it still make noise ? Yes, because whether the action of the three falling produces sound waves or not is not dependent on whether something is there to receive these waves.

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Conversation: Hey dawg? Whats that? Hey, remember curiosity killed the cat! You threatening me on my life and calling me a pussy? Im calling the cops. ...Because like Larsons some of my ideas suck, but since I am an asshole I also add them to fill some space.

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What did the young child with no arms and legs get for christmas? A bike.

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whats pink, brown, and smells like a banana. monkey vomit?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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