Q: what do you call the green and the (stone eater) animal? A:the green and the (stone eater) animal

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If Voldemort was gay who would be his partner? Happy potter

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I pregnant woman wakes in the night because she had a mis-carriage.

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what do u call a blonde in the libary? alexandra wallace

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How many women does it take to ski across the pit of lava? None, they would burn and die.

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Roses are red, Violets are brown, F*** who's had a shit in my garden.

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An iman, a rabbi and a priest walk into a bar. It's not the same bar. They feel uncomfortable mixing together and this makes me sad.

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What did jimmy say when his brother had been mean to him all day and he was about to get a straw and his brother took the last one? That was the last straw!

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What happened to the pleasure robot he pleasured someone in the pussy

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a cat walks into a bar and orders a bowl of milk. the cat is then escorted out of the bar because a cat in a bar is unsanitary. and they do not serve milk.

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Yes or No? You're wrong because it was both.

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Q: What happens when you divide by zero. A: You get a complex kind of infinite.

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Hi! Do you know how much a polar bear weighs? Roughly 1150 pounds if a full grow male.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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KCLTLMBAIMWSSHTCAWGAHW

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why couldn't the black man get a job? Because he was a violent sociopath with a criminal record.

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roses are red, violets are blue, im not going out with someone that belongs in a zoo.

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What's the difference between 50 dead babies and a three-course meal? One of them can feed me for a day and the other is a three-course meal.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, who had his car stolen and wasn't very happy so called the police.

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Your mother is so dumb, that she had a very poor ACT composite score.

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Why did the man open up a umbrella? Because it was raining..

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What is the sound of one hand clapping? I don't know you have a hand try it yourself lazy prick.

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Why do ducks fly south for the winter? because its to far to waddle

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Why did the homeless man not get any ice cream from the store? Because he was not very bright and didn't try in school. Therefore he couldn't find a job or get his job back at the janitor at Go-Mart. This proves that not doing your school work correct can really effect your future. Plus they was sold out of chocolate.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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