Joe: Hey, why are your counters all red and your blender looks broken? Me: The same reason why Mrs. Johnson's baby is missing. ajl

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Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

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Your mom is so fat that she actually had a pretty hard time finding a husband.

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Why is motorboating so much fun? Because they are unmatched for their speed and agility in the water.

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Relax, it simply would not be working out for you if your mother was nearby, you see, the subconcious is limited by the concious mind, so if your subconcious can detect your mother (or anyone but me nearby) your conscious mind goes "uh oh" and it stops. Oh, right, and considering you can still type, how about we increase the effect into... I dunno, six billion? Yeah six billion. Anyway, the next time you want to experience it, just poke your nose, and since we do not want you to poke your nose off, you only do it once and you can yourself decide when it ends, at this level you should not be able to type, but if you want to type you can of course turn it off.

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whats the difference between a male porsche driver and a porcupine? with porcupines,the pricks are on the outside.

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Q: What did the dog say to the owner when he took him to the vet? A: Nothing. It's a dog. It can't talk.

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Why does the Gay guy have a bell on his bike? Because its the only way his blind dog can follow him.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a bad chicken and it burned in hell.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot's house... Knock knock Who's there? The Chincken

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what was so bad about hitler? he inadvertently subjected his political officials to death by rope

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Whats green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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What's red and smells like cherries. Cherries

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Why did the boy bring a ladder to school? He is short and finds it difficult getting from place to place.

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Roses are red Violets are blue What about pansies

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No antijoke here.

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Go away still nothing to see

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A: How can you tell a tree is an aspen? B: 'Cause of the way it is.

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Q: what do you call the green and the (stone eater) animal? A:the green and the (stone eater) animal

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How do you kill a blond? Put a scratch and sniff at the bottom of a pool.

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How come Dorothy couldn't feel her legs? The metal cable snapped.

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Q: whats the difference between a shoe and a ginger? A: shoes have soles.

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Roses are red Violets are blue The other color on our flag is white I'm an American and rhyming doesn't matter

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Why was the boy in hospital? He fell off the bus and was run over by many cars.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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