What should you give your Italian plumber for a refreshment? Water, because he's probably working so hard that he's thirsty.

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Roses are red, and violets are freakin violet. Not blue.

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Why was the clock off? Because it was broken

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What do you call a black woman who had 4 abortions? A Crimestopper

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women's rights

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An Irishman walks into a bar he asks for directions, and leaves.

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How do you stop an African outlaw who uses child soldiers? Angelina Jolie

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What do you call a swimming pool full of black people? A family enjoying their holiday.

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What did the Buddhist monk say to the hot dog vendor? Monks do not speak.

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Did you hear about the dyslexic that choked on his own vimto?

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Here's a riddle: What can you catch, but not throw? A really heavy ball, or STDs.

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what is the difference between a banana and an orange? bread.

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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Guy 1: Why does it smell like a wet dog? Guy 2: Because I smell like a wet dog

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What do you call a guy with no arms, no legs, and floats? Nothing, its rude to make fun of disabilities.

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Roses are red, Violates are blue. I have an erection, and its lasted more then three hours

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''Today is Star Wars day :)'' ''Why's that?'' ''guess'' ''I don't know :/'' ''It's May the 4th!'' ''And?'' ''May the 4th be with you :p''

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Q: What do you get when you cross Rebecca Black and a day of the week. A: a stupid song called FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Why does Derrek Ashmore act so feminine on his facebook statuses? Because he has a vagina so it is appropriate for him

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Why did the blind boy cross the road? Why? The world may never know. He was hit by a bus

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“It doesn’t take a lot to turn me on” – William Deane

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What do you call a man with a gun in his mouth? Keith.

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Q: How many burgers did little Johnny eat? A: Involuntary erections.

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What is the difference between a Jew and a Muslim? Their religion.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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