Yo mama's chest is so flat that it's because she has stage five breast cancer and had to get both her breasts removed.

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy Wuzzy became cold easily.

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Q: why did the dad drop his baby? A: she was slippery.

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You walk into a shopping centre, what wont you see? Madelin McCann.

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How many babies does it take to change a light bulb? None. Babies shouldn't be changing light bulbs.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You pour cold water on her head or make a loud noise nearby.

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When life gives you lemons, That's physically impossible. Life cannot physically hand you lemons.

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Did you know that... Billy had a heart attack, it was sad. Now you know!

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Roses are red, Violets are red, you are a liar, oh wait you're not!! MY BACKYARD'S ON FIRE

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzie Thum thump Who's there Bethany Hamilton

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What did the woman say when her boyfriend asked her to marry him? Idk my bff jill.

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A.do i have alzheimer's? B.yes A.do i have alzheimer's?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was suicidal.

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Q. Why did the chick go to KFC? A. To visit his mother

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What do you call a person driving a plane? Not a pilot, they fly planes.

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why did road cross the chicken Niggers love chicken.

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No really, try this: You: Say "knock, knock" Your friend: OK, knock knock You: Who's there? Your friend: ...... [this awkward pause makes evident the fact that it has now dawned on your friend that he has to generate content for a joke that he wasn't telling in the first place]

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A chicken walks into McDonalds. He never comes out because he got grilled, greased, and seasoned.

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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What did the female lady person say to the baby? Get Some.

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Okay, this is a real joke: A guy slips on a banana and falls down in the most funny way ever, so a girl nearby starts laughing when she suddenly realizes the guy is bleeding profoundly, so she runs over to help, but it turns out the blood was just ketchup so... Just then they both got run over and killed by a car.

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How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

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Knock knock Who's there? Derek the crazy man in the village and I have come to shoot you.

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How do you make Adolf Hitler angry? You can't, dead people are not sentient, and hence cannot feel anger.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops