What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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Q: Why does a hamburger doesn't taste like an ice cream? A: Because.

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A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

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A man walks into a bar he said oww when did this metel bar get here

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How do you tick off a Doctor? You cut off his right thumb.

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what did the man say to the other man when he saw a dinosaur look.

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Fetus Blood. Due to the low concentration of iron, it gives it an aroma of paint.

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what's the difference between me and callum ? a couple of miles.... and id like to keep it that way

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What does a salmon and a falcon have in common They both live underwater except for the falcon.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, can I have a ball? No these can't be removed

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What did the Rabbit say to the horse? They are both completly differebt species and cannot communicate. Therefore, the rabbit said nothing.

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Once there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

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jack and jill went up a hill so jack could lick jills candy but jack got a shock and a mouth full of C O C K cause jill's real name was randy... ... and joe diragi liked it

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Why wasn't the unplugged computer on?

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whats better than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees whats better than 1 baby nailed to 10 trees? 10 trees nailed to 1 baby

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Why was the girl running out of the school? Because her principal was trying to rape her.

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- Pete and Repeat are in a boat. Repeat falls off, who's left? - Pete? - F**k yes.

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies? The one at the bottom is alive. What's worse than that? He's eating his way out. What's worse than that? He came back for seconds.

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What do you call potato salad in Iceland? Edible. The fact that it happens to be in Iceland doesn't make a difference

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What happened when the boy fell off of the bridge? He died

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Whats the difference between a Dodo and an Elephant? They're both extinct. Excluding the elephant

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Me: Mike Mike: Yeah Me: The more you breath the more pissed off im getting.

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Why doesn't McDonald's sell hot dogs? They don't want to advertise for McWeenies.

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What do you say to the child with bruises on his arms? Stop hitting yourself.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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