A blind man watches TV

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You the same as before? I am being a bit overly cautious I admit that, I would call you, the problem is that while you are either pretty good at pretending to be innocent and all, or actually pretty down to earth, I mean I would probably applaud you for tricking me into believing you are pretty sweet before, but I got my wife and her family to take care off now, its not quite the same getting stabbed in the back anymore,

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Why did the woman pay $5,000 for a gallon of milk? She didn't. She paid $2.99.

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Why did Justin Bieber wake up Lady Gaga? He needed to ask her a question.

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A guy walks into a bar. He must have been blind or something.

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What would the Swatch be called if it was made by a Croatian company? A Crwatch.

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Niall Horan

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Why was the man in a great deal of pain? Because he was hit in the face with a sack of potatoes.

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What is green and has wheels???? Yo mamma on a Wednesday.

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what do you call a sick eagle illegal

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Why did hitler kill the Jews? Because he had sever mental illnesses and anyone who thinks the holocaust is funny deserves to die a slow death.

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What do you have, if you have fists the can kill someone in one punch? Hulk's DNA

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Why was the black racist guy and the white racist guy, who 0hated each other, afraid of Michael Jackson? They didn't want to be the other each others color.

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The teacher asks Timmy "why is your cat at school today?" Timmy says, crying, "Because I heard my daddy say to my mommy, 'I'm going to eat that pussy when the kids leave.' so I'm saving him!"

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-Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? -No. -Well niether has he.

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What's the difference between Jews and pizza? God likes pizza

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A man wins 1 million dollars on the pokies. He goes home and tells his wife and kids about the big win. The next day the man goes go the casino and and loses the 1 million as he is addicted to gambling

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Q:Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A:Because it wa dead!!!!!!

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A man copied someone else's joke on anti-joke, people looked at it and said "That's funny, but they copied it", then they moved on to the next one.

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a teacher walked into a bar and when he walked out he went to his car and proceeded to take notes about the bible, not realising he's supposed to be writing notes from his English book... he's dyslexic and got punched in the eye while he was in the bar; did i mention he doesn't drink?

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PENIS lol

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Yo mamas so fat, when she jumps in a pool she displaces a disproportionate volume of water.

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Your mother's breasts sag so low that the late great impressionist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks.

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How did the idiot die? He comitted suicide because people were picking on his stupidity. (If you laughed at this you are a horrible person)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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