Why did the girl fall off the swings? -because she had no arms

If monkeys ate trees, than what would trees be made out of? No one knows because that will never happen.

Which is worse, 9/11 or the holocaust? Biting into an apple and finding a worm.

How do you kill a blonde? By irreparably damaging a major organ. The same way you kill anything else.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a giant scorpion

yo mama is so fat she has more rolls than basken robins does flavors

A man walked into a bar. He stayed for a bit and had a good time.

How many cans does the average alcoholic drink in one night? None. Cans are solid and therefore cannot be drank.

Q. What is the answer to life the universe and everything A. 42

Why is Short Circuit the best movie ever made? Because it tastes like lemons

What did the woman say when her boyfriend asked her to marry him? Idk my bff jill.

Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

I man walks into a bar. He drinks four beers, gives the bartender his keys, and takes a cab home. The next day he gets his best friend to drop him off at the bar, picks up his car, and is three minutes early to work.

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

What's worse than the holocaust? Another holocaust.

If Spongebob lives in Bikini Bottom, Where is Bikini Top?

A Black Child just received his ivy-league diploma and hugged his dad.

Knock! Knock! Who's There? The Police. Open the damn door. Nobody Is Home.

whats white and sticky? a white stick

Yo momma's so hot I raped her and slit her throat afterwards and hid her body in a ditch.

Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog

What's black and can't swim? A black shirt.

What's the difference between Christians and Jews? The Holocaust. The Holocaust is the difference.

how do you piss off a dyslexic? give him a crossword puzzle

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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