An incoming freshman introduces himself to his Ethics professor by saying, "What's up?" To which the professor responds, "You should never end a sentence with a preposition." The freshman, who is both clever and witty, quickly responds to his future Professor, saying: "Professor, I practice linguistic description, such that I observe language objectively in a way that does not adhere strictly to grammatical and syntactic dogma". The professor, surprised by the student's philosophical disposition, engages the student in a highly constructive dialogue about the philosophy of language, from which both the student and teacher learn more about each other and themselves.

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Yo mama is so old, she might die soon! - Louis

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Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

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What's that Lassie? Timmy fell in the well again? And you couldn't care less because the stupid kid never looks where he's going?

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What's love like? Some people say it's like a lotus flower, others say it's like an orchid... Personally I'd like to say it's like a fire at the bottom of you're soul-- like when people sin and go to hell... that fire burns forever???

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I saw a TV show last night. And it was good.

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Q: You and a thousand other people are suddenly bursting in flames at a park, there is a big barrel of water just a few steps away from you, what do you do in order to save the people that truly matter? A: Stop drop and roll, duh!

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charlie sheen becomes sober.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Explain the concept of time travel.

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How do you make a black guy cry? You kill his family.

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alert('The Game')

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How do you stop a baby falling down a well? Throw a javelin through its forehead.

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roses are red , violets are blue, lick my dick , or lick my dick

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You know whats better than 24? 25

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? The horse says my mom died from cancer

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A duck walks into a bar and says, "Put it on my bill"

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a black guy, mexican guy, and asian guy race to hop over a window. the mexican because he had to clean it first.

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A man ate a lot of ice cream he had double bypass surgery 3 months later

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I have a dig bick You that read wrong You read that wrong too You read that again to make sure I'm not fucking with you

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A black guy and a Hispanic guy are in a car together. Who's driving? The black guy.

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Why did the elephant cross the road? I don't know

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How do you make a hormone? Modify bacteria using recombinant DNA technology.

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People always say if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say Anthony at all. Mimes must be full of hate.

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During english, we started talking about Attention Deficit Disorder when... OOOOOOOOOHHHHHH SHINY... wait what were we talking about

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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