A man named Chuck walks into a bar. One of the patrons says, "Oh my god! You're Walker, Texas Ranger!" Chuck replies, "No, that's Chuck Norris. I'm Chuck Connors. I played the Rifleman." The man replies, "Wait, aren't you dead?"

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What do you call a bright orange fish? A gold fish.

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A Japanese Nuclear Scientist goes to the swimming pool, and buys a ticket. He went to the changing rooms and proceeded to have a lovely bit of exercise, which helped him burn off the calories from his carbohydrate based luncheon.

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Why did the man fall off his bike? He ran into a pile of dead babies.

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– Hello. Is this a laundry? – Yes, it is a laundry.

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Q: What did the boy with cancer get for Christmas? A: He died on Christmas Day, before his parents could tell him they had maxed out their credit cards to take him to Disney World. His father has since relapsed into alcoholism. He knows his wife is cheating on him with another man, but understands that she needs comfort that he cannot give her.

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Whats long and hard? a baseball bat

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What is big, white, and heavy ? A fridge

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He died! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was attached to the first! Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game! Why did the fridge fall out of the tree? The branch broke! Why did Sally fall off her bike? She got hit by three monkeys and a fridge!

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what has hair and can fly? a human.. i lied about the flying.

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What is the difference between a painting and Jesus? It only takes one nail to put up a painting

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You know who can't stand to put up with my shit? Polio victims.

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Your mom is soo black , she can go naked to a funeral.

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You wanna know what's out of this world? The moon

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Q: what's green and fluffy? A: green fluff

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What do you call a black man eating dessert? A man of African ancestry enjoying a sweet treat.

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a man dropped a bar of soap in the shower. He immediately picked it up and finished washing himself. He then got dressed and left the gym.

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Q: How many licks does it take to the center of a tootsie pop? A: At least one.

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Q: What the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies A: I don't have a Porsche in my garage

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Why did Doris need a hip replacement Because she fell down the stairs

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a car? I don't have a car in my garage.

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Roses are red violets are blue im a schizophrenic and i am too.

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Whats the quickest way to get famous? kill the president

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A black man bites into a watermelon. Just kidding he was white.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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