"I want a boyfriend for these cold winter nights" ... Shut up you slut go buy a blanket.

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Why don't black people ever defend themselves on anti jokes? Because black people are slaves.

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Q: what did humoure say to lie A: u must be tellin a lie

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I was gonna clean my room. But then my mom did it.

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How do you stop someone from getting cancer? Kill them.

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Knock, knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who?

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Whats funny about a guinea pig water skiing? The part where he explodes.

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What do stupid fat ugly women always say to me? “I think you have a problem with women.”

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Two muffins were sitting in an oven. One says "Holy cow it's hot in here!" The other one says "Wow, I'm a muffin and I can TALK!"

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What do you call an awesome bucket? An epic pail.

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A German, an Irishman, a Mexican and a Texan are flying together on an airplane over the ocean. When the plane begins to experience engine trouble, they find that there is only one parachute for the four of them! Through an amazing display of flying skill, however, the pilot is able to complete the flight and land safely.

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Listen Nero, you consider us like friends too right?

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What did the monkey say to the African American? Monkeys cannot speak, therefore it would not be able to communicate with an African American, who is an equally respected member of the community, in an efficient way.

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what are you your not a human? are you an other?

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What would Jesus say if he was alive today? “Nehwê tzevjânach aikâna d'bwaschmâja af b'arha.”

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Fine, start by proving to me that you can be a reasonable human being, and I will meet you myself, I have too many of those that rely on my guidance and protection in order for me to send myself off to some suicide mission. Say, are you familiar with the Antony Stark method?

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What's better than Sookie? The holocaust

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yo mamma so fat she should probably look into a clinical weight loss program and exercise daily.

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rock-a-bye baby on the treetop When the wind blows The bass will drop!

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If you make an anti joke out of an existing anti joke, does it become a new anti joke? Yes. No.

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A japanese man enters a Honda dealership and is approached by an eager salesman. The salesman shows him a few models and then asks him curiously "What do they call Honda in Japan?" The japanese man answered "Honda"

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your mom is so fat that she had to start going to a gym to exercise and get her weight under control.

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How many holes can you poke in my chest, When my chest is by far the best If you believe you can stab Then then grab a knife...that you can grab Skewer my breast Which lies on the best chest And you will discover A man under your covers Yes, keep on pokin' Poke my chest with the knife you are strokin' And then swallow a chode because you are stupid.

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What is the biggest lie that's still close to the truth? You came out of your momma's asshole.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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